4 years sober today. I observe this anniversary every year with a solo road trip for some time to reflect, remind myself of the reasons why I quit drinking in the first place, and to focus my energy on something creative. Soon after I quit drinking I recognized it was one of the most important decisions Iād ever make in my life.
This year feels particularly significant, as Iām about to embark on another major life transformation: Iām leaving my employer of 21+ years.
Last year I lost a dear friend who I loved deeply and admired for her curiosity, her ability to always live in the present and without fear or regret. A year ago when I visited her in the hospital, she told me that she had no regrets about how she lived her life. Her death had a significant impact on me, and it was followed by a period of grief, confusion, and left me questioning so many things about how I live my life. It caused me to think about how my life could be different and more aligned to the things I am passionate about, to fully dedicate myself to the things that bring me meaning, that gives my life meaning.
Itās a daunting decision to leave a career that is so secure, but I am trying not to let the fear sink in. I feel it is a necessary choice to embrace the unknown, give myself some space to create, and live fully in the present like Abra did. Itās a choice that Iāve made to honour her life, as well as my own.
A song for the mountain. āDeiu, pt. 1ā. An initial sketch for a project that Iām fleshing out this year, titled āTurielā.
Shot on my hi-8 camcorder.
#8mm #classicalguitar #landscape #analog #lofi
I donāt believe in omens or fear
Forebodings. I flee from neither slander
Nor from poison. Death does not exist.
Everyoneās immortal. Everything is too.
No point in fearing death at seventeen,
Or seventy. Thereās only here and now, and light;
Neither death, nor darkness, exists.
Weāre all already on the seashore;
Iām one of those whoāll be hauling in the nets
When a shoal of immortality swims by.
(From āLife, Lifeā - Arseny Tarkovsky)
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#landscape #dreams #alaska #ocean #pacificocean #sea #waves #north #truenorth #melancholic #nostalgia #memory #instagram
We celebrated every moment of our
First meetings, like an epiphany,
Alone in the entire world. You were
More daring, and lighter than a birdās wing,
On the stairs, like dizziness,
Running down over the step and leading
Through the moist lilac to your domain,
From that side of the mirrorās glass.
- Arseny Tarkovsky, āLife, Lifeā
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#35mm #35mmfilm #35mmfilmphotography #filmphotography #kodakportra400 #instagram #landscape #shootfilmnotmegapixels #shootfilmunder1000 #retrƓ #contax #zeiss #kodak #vancouverisland #victoria #ucluelet #tofino #longbeach #pacificrim #pacificocean #tarkovsky #cinema #nostalgia
