TW: SA
I’m trying to honor my younger self by saying a little more about this. I’ve wanted to for a long time, but I don’t have the words for all of it, so I’m sharing what kept looping in my head when I gave these quotes.
I was always the youngest in the room. I was given alcohol, asked to buy drugs, and surrounded by people much older than me. When I was 18 I got signed to a record label. One of the owners was almost 40, and things happened that I still wish I could erase from my body and my life. He was married to someone who also crossed boundaries with me constantly, touching me and even putting her face in my chest. That environment made all of it feel normal when it wasn’t.
I had more experiences than I can count where older people dated me, pressured me, and took advantage of me. There are too many moments to name. I’m the age now that the youngest people pursuing me were.
It’s somehow all rising more and more to the surface, the older I get. It feels a bit raw to open up, but I’m grateful for a little unearthing.
Sharing the link to the full piece in stories. ❤️
Black sesame iced coffee, first warm spring morning in the Catskills and I’m getting back into my ritual.
Stepped outside and at my feet, black cap raspberry stems were coming up everywhere. Motherwort all over, collards and carrots from last year still going, even the currants already fruiting.
We’ve mostly let the land do its thing and it’s really starting to show. 🌱 Truckloads of compost on the way, so more outdoor projects very soon.
#coffee #gardening #spring #blacksesame
