hi everyone, some sad news today
we unfortunately had to put down our Looksmaxxing demon we created for the purposes of our last live show
Romulus Anaximander Jawbone was a beloved, yet quite feared, entity that we let host the show for a night while Dan was out of town
He really excelled despite having limited “outside time” experience, and only understanding clicks and whistles when we met him
Unfortunately since then, Romulus has been living in pain on account of his heart being the size of one of those square Japanese watermelons. He had also been a complete pain to live with. He was eating all our food at night, biting through our neighbor’s wires, and recently engaged in a situationship with civilian Alix Earle.
This morning, we smashed his head into a prune with a giant rock and ended his life peacefully and painlessly - as he would have liked to go. He was surrounded by his buddies at the Yale Skull and Bones Society outside of the Hudson Yards Sweetgreen, before we dumped his body off the side of the West Side Highway.
Romulus lived a great life, but it was his time. He needed to go.
All we are worried about now is that we actually didn’t kill him and he will re-emerge with a thirst for vengeance one day.
