did you know that when flies fall in love, their entire brain is rewired to only know loving each other? and when one of them dies, the others mind goes completely blank?
the day drew asked me to be his girlfriend, i met him in the darkroom at lunch. i got there and his smile was ear to ear, his hands were shaking, our friends were giggling in the corner… “you’re acting weird,” i whispered. he handed me a piece of paper to develop and “will you be my girlfriend” slowly appeared under the red light. i screamed at the top of my lungs - you would’ve thought he was proposing. i wish could experience love the way i did when i was 16 again.
on our first… “big night”, we ate chinese food until our stomachs hurt and watched RENT on a beach towel on my patio. he broke up with me four days later - turns out he was gay. also turns out i was the only one who couldn’t tell. “we were watching RENT,” he’d joke.
the night he told me he was gay we sat at a red light on a quiet road on my 17th birthday. the light turned green… yellow… red… green… yellow… red… and he sat there holding my hand. he told me he’s seeing someone, and that it was the only thing that’s ever felt right, other than him and i. when he told me who it was i smiled so big and cried harder than i had in years. i didn’t ask a single question. i felt a wave of relief come over me and knew that if he was happy, i was happy. best birthday ever.
i was so deeply enamored by who he was and all of the things i loved about him that i never even thought twice about him. it didn’t matter to me. we joked about this for years as our silly teenage romance blossomed into a beautiful, deep friendship. the kind they write about in books. the kind you dream never ends.
drew supported every one of my dreams and thought i was limitless. he taught me what love truly is. our love for each other was deep and it was real and it was the first love that made me feel safe. it was the first love that made me feel honored. it was the first love that made me FEEL loved.
i’ve been a lot of things in this life, but the most important thing i ever was, was drew’s. this spot in my heart will never be filled.
my mind is blank.
first photo @tommymoorestudio took and obviously i’ll never recover. let me know if you think i should move to new orleans in the comments. one “yes” and ill pack my bags in the morning. thanks
i have been given the exceptional and once in a lifetime opportunity to be on team @therunaroundsband , and i have to say that it’s been one of the most rewarding experiences yet. not just because these 5 dudes put on one hell of a show, but because i’ve been given the extra special chance to do what i do best (meet new people on the internet) and make it my job (develop an audience and engage fans in a thoughtful, exciting and really damn fun way)
shout out discord, shout out gerkly, shout out the runarounds, shout out everyone who touches this project, and most importantly…. shout out FAN GIRLS!! 🧡🧡🧡
what a blessing to be a part of this release with an artist that shaped so much of the sound of my childhood. to meet her, listen to her speak about this beautiful record, and have the opportunity to photograph the intimate shows and bts at the music video shoot has genuinely been a dream. i love my job and i love @officialsarahmclachlan
“better broken”, her first single in 11 years out, now wherever you listen to music 🫶🏻.
@concordrecords@fantasyrecords@cakemicks@brandonsbaumann
today is my 30th birthday, and this weekend i was surrounded by so much love that im not sure how to properly verbalize it.
i’m so grateful for the love, the heartbreak, the rest, the joy, the confusion, and every single thing that brought me here. i’m still figuring it out BUT i have 30 years of experience doing things for the first time, so if it’s broken… i can probably fix it.
a very special thank you to everyone who showed up, dressed up, schemed, screamed, solved a murder, and celebrated me in the most outrageous, perfect way possible. throwing a 1980s hollywood murder mystery was maybe the most me thing i’ve ever done, and getting to share it with the people i love made my heart explode. i felt so seen, so spoiled, and so wildly lucky. thank you for making 30 feel like a movie. i love you forever (even if you were a suspect)
here’s to the next decade and also the rest of my life. if i’m lucky, it’ll be with all of you right by my side 🫶🏻 #karlysdirtythirty
