Friends of Jerry

**NEW DATE** SATURDAY JUNE THE 20th YEAR OF THE BEE 2k26 THIS RAPIDLY APPROACHING HOMETOWN CEREMONY HAS BEEN MOVED FROM ITS ORIGINAL DATE OF MAY THE 29th TO SATURDAY JUNE THE 20th, GIVING US EVEN MORE TIME TO PONDER THE PASSAGE OF TIME AS WE AWAIT THE FIRST EVER FLENDS OF JEROME PERFORMANCE IN THIS HALLOWED BOWLING ALLEY. ALREADY BOUGHT TICKETS? NO PROBLEM. THEY’RE STILL GOOD! FLENDS OF JEROME APPEARS FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AT THE WORLD FAMOUS @bbowlphilly FOR A DIRTY DEAD DOUBLE DIP CEREMONY FEATURING ONE MASSIVE SET FROM NEW YORK JAMMERS @shakedownciti AND A GARGANTUAN OPENING DAY SET OF THE #YEAROFTHEBEE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD FOJ. LETS TALK FOR A MOMENT ABOUT ANCIENT CHOREOGRAPHY. AND I’M TALKIN ABOUT THE BEE HERE. SEE, OUR MUSE, THE BEE, HAS BEEN SPEAKING THIS MYSTERIOUS LANGUAGE FOR NEARLY SEVEN MILLION YEARS. YOU, SOME DESCENDENT OF HOMO ERECTUS, STILL SO WET BEHIND THE EARS AS TO REQUIRE SO MANY EAR REAR TOWELS, ARE KNOWN TO COMMUNICATE IN A SERIES OF GRUNTS AND GROANS, MUMBLING YOUR WAY INTO AND SUBSEQUENTLY RIGHT BACK OUT OF THE EARS OF THOSE WHO CROSS YOUR PATH, YAPPING THIS WAY, NOW THAT. CONSONANTS, VOWELS, GRAMMAR, YOU FANCY YOURSELF QUITE THE LINGUIST DON’T YOU? HAVE YOU THE GRACE TO TESTIFY WITH THE BODY? KNOW YOU THE ELOQUENCE TO COMMUNE WITH YOUR FELLOW MAN AND BE UNDERSTOOD USING SUCH VERBIAGE AS THE PIROUETTE, THE RELEVÉ, OR THE JETÉ? THE FINEST BALLERINAS OF THE PALAIS GARNIER MAY TWIRL A DELICATE GEOMETRY ACROSS THE STAGE AND DELIGHT MANY AN ONLOOKER, BUT WHAT COMMON JOE LUNCHBUCKET COULD HOPE TO TRANSLATE SUCH ESOTERICA? WHAT MEANING COULD HE DERIVE BEYOND “NEATO”? AMEN, I SAY TO YOU, THE EXAMPLE SET BY THE BEE IS THE BEACON FOR WHICH TO STRIVE. THE WORDLESS EXPRESSION. THE SACRED DANCE WHOSE PROSE COULD CONSTITUTE THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. THE PRIMORDIAL LEXICON OF EXQUISITE MOTION. ON THIS EVENING, IT IS OUR INTENTION TO PROVIDE THE SUPERNATURAL SHAMONA WHICH MAY STRIKE INTO YOUR HEART THE FORTITUDE AND THE ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE TO MOVE WITH THE SPIRIT OF THE BEE AND BE CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD. TICKET LINK IN BIO WE CANNOT WAIT TO DANCE LIKE A BUNCH OF SICK FREAKS WITH YOUSE <3 . . . . . . #gratefuldead #jazz #punk #philly

SATURDAY MAY THE 23rd YEAR OF THE BEE 2k26 FLENDS OF JEROME RETURNS TO THE WORLD FAMOUS @anchorrockclub FOR TWO SETS OF I SPY DEAD, SO EYE-CROSSING AND CHOCK FULL OF LOOK ALIKES AND RED HERRINGS THAT ONE MAY GIVE UP ON THE SEARCH AND CHOOSE TO SIMPLY WANDER AMONG THE DEBRIS FOR A WHILE ON SOME “IT’S THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION” TYPE BEAT THEY SAY IT IS BEST TO RELAX THE EYES IN ORDER TO SEE THE HIDDEN IMAGES WITHIN THE BIG PICTURE. THIS, UNFORTUNATELY, DOES NOT APPLY TO US, AS OUR EYES ARE MEDICALLY INCAPABLE OF RELAXATION. WHAT SOME MAY THINK AN AILMENT HAS ACTUALLY PROVEN TO BE ONE OF THE MANY SECRETS TO OUR SUCCESS. IMAGINE A PAIR OF EYEBALLS CONSTANTLY ON HIGH ALERT. “WHAT WAS THAT?” YOU ASK AS A DARK SHADOW SCURRIES BY. I ALREADY KNOW. I’VE KNOWN FOR HOURS. I CHOOSE TO PLAY ALONG, AS TO NOT ALIENATE MYSELF AMONG SOCIETY. “HM, NO IDEA!” I REPLY. WE USE THIS SKILL SPARINGLY. WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT OBNOXIOUS IMAGERY. IT IS AN HONOR TO RETURN TO OUR FAVORITE HOUSE OF LORE DOWN THE SHORE (THE LORE, IN THIS CASE, BEING OUR OWN ILLUSTRIOUS HISTORY OF FLENDS OF JEROME CEREMONIES IN THIS BEAUTIFUL SEASIDE BUILDING). MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND - LET US REVEL IN THE GREAT PHILADELPHIA TRADITION OF ESCAPING THE HEAT BY HEADING DOWN THE SHORE WHERE IT IS EXACTLY AS HOT AS IT IS BACK HOME, MAYBE EVEN HOTTER. <3

TUESDAY MAY THE 19th YEAR OF THE BEE 2k26 FLENDS OF JEROME PRESENTS **FOJ PLAYS JGB** A VERY SPECIAL EVENING AT THE SUPREMELY KIND @cellardogphilly WHEREIN WE SHALL ENGAGE IN PERHAPS THE ULTIMATE NOD TO JER - A FULL CEREMONY OF GARCIA BAND TUNES, SO ORGAN RICH AND GOSPEL TINGED THAT ONE MAY BE TEMPTED TO HEAD STRAIGHTAWAY TO THE DMV AND HAVE THEM ADD THAT ORGAN DONOR DESIGNATION, KNOWING FULL WELL THAT YOUR QUOTA HAS BEEN MET, EXCEEDED, AND NOW YOU’VE GOT PLENTY TO GO AROUND. LOT OF TALK ABOUT WHAT JERRY WOULD’VE WANTED. LOADS OF SPECULATION. EVERY CARGO SHORTS AND SHINY BALD CALVES GUY YOU KNOW HAS GOT AN OPINION. FUNNY, NOBODY EVER BOTHERS TO ASK US. ITS A DAMN SHAME TOO, CONSIDERING THAT WE HAVE A DIRECT LINE TO THE BIG GUY (A RESULT OF DECADES OF SHAMONAL EXPERIMENTATION, MORE ON THIS LATER). DON’T GET IT TWISTED - WE ARE RESPECTFUL. WE’RE NOT BLOWING UP HIS LINE WITH EVERY LITTLE INQUIRY AND PASSING THOUGHT. I, FOR ONE, HAVE LOADS OF QUESTIONS I’D LIKE TO ASK, BUT I REFRAIN FROM DOING SO IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID BEING CRASS. FOR EXAMPLE, DID JERRY WATCH THE SERIES FINALE OF CHEERS? DID HE EVER PLAY SEGA GENESIS? I DON’T ASK THESE QUESTIONS. I DID, HOWEVER, RECENTLY ASK HIM, POINT BLANK, “JERRY, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED?” AT FIRST, THERE WAS SILENCE. WORRIED THAT I HAD CROSSED A LINE, I TURNED AWAY. THEN, A WARM VOICE BEHIND ME REPLIED: “I WOULD HAVE WANTED FLENDS OF JEROME, THE WORLD’S ONLY GRATEFUL DEAD COVER BAND, TO PERFORM AN EVENING OF ONLY MY SOLO BAND MATERIAL, PREFERABLY AT A CENTER CITY PHILADELPHIA JAZZ CLUB COMPLETE WITH POOL TABLES AND KIND SNACKS, AND IDEALLY IT COULD BE A WEEKNIGHT, STRICTLY FOR THE HEADS. MAYBE THEY COULD LET ZUPPA STRETCH OUT A LITTLE. MAYBE EVEN INVITE A SPECIAL GUEST OR SOMETHING. THANKS FOR ASKING!” I SOLEMNLY NOD. THE PUNGENT AROMA OF HOT DOGS LINGERS IN THE AIR. BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS ONE FOR A WHILE, AND CELLAR DOG IS TRULY IS THE PERFECT SETTING. A MIDWEEK RESET FOR THE TROUBLED MIND. TICKET LINK IN BIO SEE YOUSE SOON <3

FRIDAY AUGUST THE 7th YEAR OF THE BEE 2k26 FLENDS OF JEROME RETURNS TO @dharmabumsnewhope FOR TWO SETS OF NUMERICAL DEAD, SO ABSTRACTLY ALGEBRAIC THAT ONE MAY DITCH PRE-CALC AND GO STRAIGHTAWAY TO STATISTICS, HOPING TO TEST OUT OF SOME OF THE MORE RUDIMENTARY COURSES. THE OTHER DAY I WAS COUNTING THE WAYS IN WHICH I LOVE THEE WHEN IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT WHENEVER I GET TO ABOUT WAY NUMBER 8 OR 9, MY MIND DRIFTS OFF AND SUDDENLY I’M COUNTING SOMETHING ELSE. AT SOME POINT IN HUMAN HISTORY, SOMEONE NEEDED TO COUNT SOMETHING AND THEREFORE NEEDED UNITS OF MEASURE WITH WHICH TO COUNT. THAT GUY STARTED ASCRIBING NUMERICAL FIGURES TO REAL WORLD OBJECTS. FOUR ROCKS. THREE APPLES. ELEVEN BEEHIVES. SUDDENLY, THE ABSTRACTIONS OF QUANTITY, PREVIOUSLY CLOUDY AND MYSTERIOUS TO THE FEEBLE HUMAN MIND, WERE GIVEN COUNT, AND FURTHERMORE, THE COUNTENANCE OF THE COUNTER WAS GIVEN LIGHTNESS AND UNDERSTANDING - THAT MUCH YOU CAN COUNT ON. IT’S A SHAME THAT THIS IS ALL WRONG. THE ONES, THE TWOS, DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE THREES. WE ADOPTED THESE SYSTEMS UNDER THE FALSE ASSUMPTION THAT THE NUMBER IS THE NUMBER, TRUE AS THE DAY IS LONG. AND HOW LONG, EXACTLY? LET US COUNT THE HOURS. “TWENTY FOUR” SHOUTS SOME SENSELESS SIMPLETON FROM THE BACK. MY HEAD DROOPS IN DISAPPOINTMENT. FEAR NOT, FOR WE’VE DONE THE CALCULATIONS. OUR PRECISION INSTRUMENTS, SITUATED HIGH ATOP MOUNT GURNEY, ARE CALIBRATED TO DELIVER THE MOST ACCURATE MEASUREMENT OF EARTH’S ROTATION. TWENTY THREE HOURS, FIFTY SIX MINUTES, AND FOUR SECONDS. “ROUND UP” CRIED SOME SELF APPOINTED LUMINARY OF HIS TIME, SOMEWHERE IN THE LEATHER BOUND ANNALS OF HISTORY. MY HEAD, PREVIOUSLY DROOPED IN DISAPPOINTMENT, FALLS CLEAN OFF MY SHOULDERS. HOW MANY HOURS DID IT TAKE TO REATTACH? LET’S COUNT TOGETHER. I CONSULT MISTER OWL. HE CAN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO THREE LICKS BEFORE HE CHOMPS. EXISTENCE IS CLOUDED IN HOLY CONTRADICTION. DHARMA BUMS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHARMING OLD HAUNT THIS SIDE OF THE MIGHTY DELAWARE AND WE ARE SIMPLY HONKING AT THE OPPORTUNITY TO RETURN. REST ASSURED, IT WILL BE, NOW AND EVER THUS, A VIBE SUPREME TICKET LINK IN BIO <3

year of the bee <3

AN OPENING DAY MOOD BOARD THIS EVENING FLENDS OF JEROME RETURNS TO @fishtownmusicandarts FOR THE OFFICIAL OPENING SALVO OF 2k26, THE #yearofthebee AND WE ARE SIMPLY BUZZING ABOUT IT ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT DAYS LIKE TODAY IS THE LACK OF CAR TRAFFIC ON FRONT STREET. A BRIEF GLIMPSE OF WHAT LIFE COULD BE WERE WE NOT QUITE SO CARPILLED. MUCH INK HAS BEEN SPILLED (BY US) ON THE MAJESTY OF THE CHOO CHOO, SO WE’LL SPARE YOU FURTHER ADULATION OF OUR FAVORITE STEEL CHARIOTS. INSTEAD, ON THIS DAY, I ASK YOU TO CONSIDER THE BUMBLEBEE. WHILE HONEYBEES, OUR STALWART WARRIORS OF THE WILDFLOWERS AND WINDOWBOXES, RECEIVE FAR MORE CRITICAL ACCLAIM (SEE: “BEE MOVIE”, 2007), THE BUMBLEBEE (OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, THE HUMBLEBEE) ENGAGES IN A FAR MESSIER AND YET SOMEHOW MORE ELEGANT POLLINATION METHOD. BUZZ POLLINATION, A FORM OF ORGANIC SONICATION, STANDS IN STARK CONTRAST TO THE HONEYBEE METHOD OF POLLINATION, IN THAT THE BUMBLEBEE LANDS ON A NECTAR SOURCE AND VIBRATES ITS ENTIRE BODY AT A FREQUENCY OF ROUGHLY 270 HZ, THUS RATTLING THE ADHERED POLLEN FROM THE SOURCE AND ONTO THE TINY HAIRS COATING THE BUMBLEBEE’S BODY. THIS POLLINATION METHOD IS USED IN THE PROPAGATION OF APPROXIMATELY 9% OF THE EARTH’S PLANT LIFE. A NOTABLE EXAMPLE IS THE TOMATO. REMEMBER THAT COME AUGUST WHEN THE MATERS ARE EXPLODING WITH HORNY, JUICY PASSION. NO BUMBLEBEES = NO BLT’S. SOME DELICATE POETRY HEREIN REGARDING THE NATURE OF SOUND, ITS FOUNDATIONAL POWER ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, AND HOW WITHOUT IT THE STILLNESS WOULD SURELY BE OUR END. FLENDS OF JEROME HITS AT 8:45 PM AND GOES UNTIL THE END OF THE DAMN FESTIVAL “OH BUT TWO OF MY FAVORITE SPORTS FRANCHISES ARE COMPETING IN PLAYOFF TOURNAMENTS THIS EVENING - ONE OF WHICH IN A CRUCIAL SECOND ROUND TONE-SETTING GAME ONE, AND THE OTHER IN A DO-OR-DIE, WIN-OR-GO-HOME GAME SEVEN AGAINST THEIR NORTHEAST RIVALS, IN WHAT WILL SURELY BE A LEGACY DEFINING GAME FOR SUCH VETERAN PLAYERS AS JOEL EMBIID AND PAUL GEORGE. I’M AFRAID I CAN’T MAKE IT” CRY SOME WORRYWARTS MY GUY, THE GAMES WILL BE ON IN MULTIPLE PLACES, ON BIG ASS SCREENS, FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE. BIG PORTER MARTONE GAME INCOMING. SEE YOUSE SOON <3

THURSDAY AUGUST THE 6th YEAR OF THE BEE 2k26 FLENDS OF JEROME RETURNS TO @sprucestreetharborpark ON THE BANKS OF THE MIGHTY DELAWARE RIVER FOR A **FREE** CEREMONY OF AQUATIC PROPORTIONS, SO COATED IN FRESHWATER ALGAES AND SLIME MOLDS THAT ONE MAY ACCEPT THEIR NEW POSITION AS AN AGENT OF THE SLIMES WITH A “YES” OF GRATITUDE AND AN “ABSOLUTELY, OK, HERE WE GO” OF ENTHUSIASM. THERE ARE BEES EVERYWHERE IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. OFTEN, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO. YOU’LL HEAR EM BEFORE YOU SEE EM, AND BEFORE YOU HEAR EM, YOU’LL DETECT THE WAFTING AROMATIC TEXTURES OF THEIR NECTAR SOURCE CALLING OUT TO THEM (THE BEES, THAT IS), MUCH THE SAME WAY AS IT CALLS OUT TO YOU, SHOULD YOU DARE LISTEN. IT MAY BE TRUE THAT WE, THE FLENDS OF JEROME, HAVE OFFERED A NUMBER OF CEREMONIES AT THIS PALATIAL RIVERSIDE ESTATE, BUT HAVE WE EVER POINTED OUT THE ABUNDANCE OF JAPANESE KNOTWEED ALONG THE FILTHY SHORES OF THE DELAWARE? JUST SO HAPPENS THAT THIS STUFF DRIVES THE BEES STARK RAVING MAD, TURNING THEM INTO A MASS OF HORNED UP SCAMPS, BLINDED BY THE SWEET ALLURE OF THEIR AMPHIBIOUS PRIZE. THIS RARE AND TASTEFUL NECTAR SOURCE PRODUCES A DARK, COMPLEX, MOLASSES COLORED HONEY, WELL SUITED FOR GLAZES AND MARINADES. GLAZE THYSELF, MY BROTHER IN SPICE. THE HOUR DRAWS NEAR AND THERE’S NOTHING TO FEAR. HOP ON THE BUZZ, CUZ. LOOK AT THE BEE, LEE. JUMP IN THE HIVE, CLIVE. WE ARE WORKING ON NEW TECHNOLOGIES WHICH WILL POWER GENERATORS AND SMALL ROTARY ENGINES USING SYMBIOTIC PLANT - BEE ENERGIES. MORE ON THAT LATER. THIS SUMMERTIME SOIREE IS PRESENTED BY THE FINE FOLKS AT @4333collective RSVP OVER AT THEIR PAGE SUMMER OF JERRY ROLLS RIGHT ALONG <3

SATURDAY MAY THE 2nd YEAR OF THE BEE 2k26 FLENDS OF JEROME RETURNS TO @fishtownmusicandarts FOR AN EVENING SET OF HOMETOWN DEAD, SO SHROUDED IN THE DARK SHADOW OF THE EL THAT ONE MAY BECOME INSPIRED EMOUGH BY THE MIRACLE OF MASS RAIL TRANSIT TO SET THEIR CAR ABLAZE AND BEGIN LIVNG A FULLY TRAINPILLED, RAILMAXXING LIFESTYLE. CONSIDER, FOR A MOMENT, THE LIFE OF THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR. “DRIVE THE TRAIN,” QUIP SO MANY SLACKJAWED ONLOOKERS, “HOW HARD COULD THAT BE?”. MY BROTHER IN JER, YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO SIX O CLOCK TV HOUR UNTIL AT LEAST 6:08, AND YET YOU HAVE THE STONES TO GUFFAW AT A MAN WHO HAULS 500 TONS OF STEEL TO CONSECUTIVE STOPS AT PRE-DESTINED TIME STAMPS? SEES TO THE PROPER OPENING AND CLOSING OF ALL DOOR MECHANISMS? COUPLES AND UNCOUPLES AGING CARS ON THE CRUMBLING INFRASTRUCTURE OF AMERICA’S ONCE MAGNIFICENT RAILWAY SYSTEM? FURTHERMORE, YOU VASTLY UNDERSELL THE IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING A SAFE ENVIRONMENT ABOARD THIS VESSEL OF THE IRON SEAS? FASCINATING. YOU ADDLEPATED HALF WITS WILL NEVER LEARN WILL YOUSE? ON THIS DAY, WE RIDE THE TRAIN, WHEREVER IT TAKES US, BE YOU MAN OR BEAST, BE YOU BEAST OR BEE, BECAUSE IN A LOT OF WAYS, WE’RE GOING ALL THE WAY, TO THE END OF THE LINE, AND BACK AGAIN. THE RAILS ARE THE ONLY LIFE WE KNOW NOW. NOTHING TO GO BACK TO. ONLY THE SWEET CRISP PERCUSSION OF THE CHUGGA CHUGGA AND THE DIVINE MELODY OF THE CHOO (AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH) CHOO. THIS SPRINGTIME CEREMONY MARKS OPENING DAY OF FEELIN-GOOD-ALL-THE-TIME SEASON. COME AND CELEBRATE IT WITH US IN JUBILANT FASHION, WON’T YOU? FULL SCHEDULE TO FOLLOW <3

UNCLE JOHN’S BAND LIVE AT UKIE CLUB 4.18.25 FULL SHOW AUDIO ON BANDCAMP LINK IN BIO . . . . . . . . #gratefuldead #psychedelic #philly #punk #jazz

PLAYIN IN THE BAND LIVE AT ARDMORE MUSIC HALL 11.13.25 FULL SHOW AUDIO ON BANDCAMP LINK IN BIO . . . . . . . . #gratefuldead #psychedelic #philly #jazz #punk

ESTIMATED PROPHET LIVE AT ARDMORE MUSIC HALL 11.13.25 FULL SHOW AUDIO ON BANDCAMP LINK IN BIO . . . . . . . #gratefuldead #psychedelic #philly #jazz

UNCLE JOHN’S BAND LIVE AT UKIE CLUB 4.18.25 FULL SHOW AUDIO ON BANDCAMP LINK IN BIO . . . . . . . . #gratefuldead #psychedelic #philly #punk #jazz