Exactly a month since beginnings and endings, joy and grief in their most extreme forms…a deeply confusing month of understanding love and loneliness.
It hasn’t been easy, and it won’t be. The heartbreak I feel is incomparable to anything I’ve ever experienced. Because alongside all the change, all the growth, all the unexpected moments, came losing the greatest love I’ve ever known.
Grace.
My life, my love, my light, my whole world. ♥️
I still don’t fully have the words for what she was and is to me, because how do you possibly explain a soul that was home? How do you explain the kind of love that shaped who you are?
So for now, all I know is that losing her has changed me forever.
People called me strong while I was still trying to understand what survival even looked like but I’m thankful for everyone who has been by my side while I held together all my broken parts trying to figure out where things belong.
Ive met incredible people recently who changed my life in ways I didn’t think were possible. People who brought light, laughter, and unexpected connection in the face of loneliness. I’ve always enjoyed my space and solitude & now I need to find my way back to that without fear of loneliness holding me back.
May was supposed to be a fresh start. And in so many ways I guess it is. Not the version I imagined, and certainly not without heartbreak, but still, a beginning.
So right now life is weird & hope is scary… but I exist with reminders that even after unimaginable loss, life can still find ways to surprise you if you let it.
I’m less sad now but I’m not exactly happy. I’m still grieving, still healing, still figuring things out, but I’m also grateful.
Grateful for Grace.
Grateful for love.
Grateful for the people who showed up & continue to.
Grateful that despite everything, I’m still here & I have a baby Bailey with me ♥️
For now, maybe strength simply means continuing, even when life doesn’t go to plan.
This might’ve been the ONLY time my waves were really behaving & I don’t remember the formula that made it work 🥲✨
Also been a while since my face was on this grid ✌🏼❣️
