some of these are months old but life latelyš
1)me in a thick coat in 30 degree Amsterdam heat :/
2) beautiful amsterdam
3) legs and hips and body in nature
4) somebody getting stood up for a date
5) tour with the best group of ppl
6) my longest friend marrying the love of her life
7) going down
8) me holding something quite pathetic
9) beer & boatsā¦2 things I donāt usually do but the weather was calling for it
10) the purest soul and the best straight man to ever exist
11) conversations with bub
12) BEYONCĆ
13) at one with nature š§
14) finishing To Paradise after not knowing if it would hit me quite as hard as A Little Life, and it exceeding all expectations with just as many lessons
15) the book I just started, gifted to me at the courtesy of my wonderful friend Seb
16) the fanciest pigeons I did ever see
17) my life and muse
18) princessā bday ft bog and coysoy
19) landing a backflip on one leg for the first time in my life after not having danced for 10 years :/
20) me being cool nd sexy
I donāt really take pictures of myself anymore and im okay; a boy once posed with the obsession of capturing his lifeless expression at any given moment and exposing it to the world, slowly changed his way.
Is it because heās no longer self-obsessed, or is it because he doesnāt like what he seeās and mongers - not the surface, itās unique, fine lines that show resilience, a beard sparse and tamed, but still beautiful all the same, which isnt something apps can take away.
Instead, does he see a reflection of a being who continues to exist in the same cycles, hoping for change but never sustained an attempt - or is he content inside that he knows his ways and is exploring his means to be great. Maybe both are true.
Is this what it is to be human, behaviours etched into the brain by lifeās migraines, indecisive at its best and dictating how we live but really hard to change. The man that I see before me knows heās great, but is pained by the reflection of a hopeless will of potential that heās not yet brave enough to use.
Maybe he doesnāt feel safe and no longer exposes himself to the world because he no longer has a lifeless expression, but one with a thousand lives whose cracks canāt be hidden. Heās keeping himself safe, and for the inner child heās protecting I canāt blame - but I know one day, heāll know all the worlds a stage.
(Im absolutely fine, this is a think-pieceš)
