“Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does.“
It’s twilight szn baby 🖤🌲
Btw I did it afraid and was rewarded beautifully ✨
I just want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to every single person who has believed in me. To every person who told me yes in the face of many no’s. For every “book this girl!” And all the “Im proud of you”s. You have genuinely changed my life. You believed in me when I felt like it was impossible to believe in myself.
I’ve failed many times in life, I’m still failing and learning and growing in a lot of places. But now I can say with my full chest that I finally feel like I haven’t failed myself when it comes to my photography. Im very proud of myself (if you know me you know how big of a deal that is).
Thank you, love you, you all know who you are. I keep a little piece of all of you everywhere I go. You guys are the only thing that ever made me want to stay soft in a world that kept handing me reasons to harden.
Anywaysssss enough of the mushy mush.
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
It was like a glittery cotton cloud day dream ✨
✨Birthdaymaxxing✨
In 8th grade I was sitting in detention, arguing with the teacher about how I didn’t plan to live past 30 (I feel like we all went through this phase). I was firm on the fact that I never intended to get that old… That there was no way I’d be able to stick out this miserable life for that long.
Here I am, 30, and I can’t help but feel like I just lost a long standing bet. And laugh that I ever thought 30 was old.
Nothing looks like how I imagined, The world is fucked and we’re all just trying our best.
My skin has changed, my face has changed, I have changed. It’s taken a lot of love to carry myself this far
In the last 3 decades I have;
Traveled across thousands of miles, I have read 100’s of books, I have taken so many photos, I have accomplished so many beautiful things, met so many wonderful people, I have laughed, I have cried, I have lived 🖤
And I think that is what I will keep doing. Living.
Today, I am full of gratitude for younger me, who got me where I needed to go. I also have hope, belief, and patience for the women who will continue to carry me and my life forward
Remember, it’s only a short trip! Enjoy it :)
Lil life update:
I start my new day job next week ✨ if you know me and how long I’ve been looking, you know this is big news :)
I recently got diagnosed with Graves’ disease, it makes sooo much sense. My face has changed so fast, queue my final journey of quitting vaping (everything makes it worse). I think my dark undereye circles are adding to the aesthetic actually 😭
It sucks, but the changes necessary will only improve my life, and for that I am grateful.
I’m trying to lower my stress levels so my body can heal, that feels almost impossible in today’s world.
At my big age I’m still learning how to move through life like a real human being and not a reanimated corpse. It’s hard!
If your biggest accomplishment lately has been just keeping yourself alive, I think that is enough to be proud of 🖤
2026 is the year I’m dedicating to self love. What that looks like for me is taking my health off the back burner. January 1st i researched, searched, and booked all of the many doctor’s appointments I’ve put off my entire adulthood. If you have insurance, money, or Medicaid, I highly recommend you show yourself some love too. Check ups and general health really is a privilege in America.
I’m moving through one of my biggest losses, but it has taught me more than I could have hoped for. How lucky I am to have experienced Jupiter’s love at all, even if it wasn’t for as long as I had hoped. It was enough to last a lifetime for me.
Life is doing everything to beat me down, but I am moving through it with strength, and of course boundless love from everyone in my corner.
I wouldn’t have made it through last year without it.
Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for taking the time to read.
Self love looks a little different this year 🖤✨
