ellie 👽

Finding my voice again S/o @cellomano 💖💖💖

Hi, I’m Ellie! Whimsy at the Park is a new local meetup I’m hosting in Danbury, CT. Weekly, same time, same place: Saturdays, 2-3pm at Rogers Park. I had the honor of sharing this new project at the @cawct table this week at Danbury Day at the CT Capitol building in Hartford. I’ve partnered with the Cultural Alliance of Western Connecticut, bringing community engagement to their first @thirdspacedanbury location! Part of the CAWCT mission is to help artists get plugged deeper into the local scene, to find and explore resources and support. The journey of becoming an artist, in my experience, looks like feeling like a misfit for most of your life, a square peg in a round hole, and hearing everyone tell you how “creative” you are. Taking on the identity of “BEing an artist” can be freeing AND overwhelming. Collaboration and partnerships are vital to a thriving arts scene. My vision is that the Whimsy project lowers barriers and creates routine, allowing greater, simpler access to joy. Once a week, for one hour, we set aside technology and explore the question: what does whimsy mean to me, today, right now? Maybe that’s flying a kite. Maybe coloring, dancing, reading, or sitting quietly and people watching. Whatever your experience is, it’s welcome here. See y’all at the park!

Full set + my first 2 remixes coming to SoundCloud soon! Will post the track list then too. Til then, here’s a few more glimpses from my debut opening for @wonkywillaofficial last night. @gooddeedsfeelgood13 GOAT for getting these shots for me 🙏 sooo stoked to have you and @1208.official as part of the @neonreveriedanbury fam 🥰

grief is not linear. chronic illness has taken so much from my life. living with recurring debilitating symptoms, doctors visits, long sleepless nights or sleeping for days with no relief, pain and inflammation that can’t be pinpointed, has made employment a challenge. last year I quit my job and volunteered and worked at music festivals, hosted my own events, and deep within knew this was a bandaid or a crutch, a haunting feeling of deep burnout simmering under the surface. A pace nobody in my position and condition could sustain. It felt like running with the devil at my heels, and it was only a matter of time when I would have to stop running. Collectively we’re all crashing out, aren’t we? Everything that used to be safe feels tainted, worrisome reminders everywhere we turn of the doomsday thinking that created the society we’re all expected to conform to. As a non conformist, this era has been both validating to no longer feel so hopeless and afraid, but collective fear and rage and powerlessness is a whole other experience. One that makes me nostalgic of my own former chapters of ignorance, whilst simultaneously attempting to dream? And play, and create! It’s a mind breaking “task” and privilege, but lately, I’ve just been in the kind of hermit mode than I keep being surprised by and then perpetuating. Seismic shifts in life that feel inevitable but still murky, a hazy promise of “this won’t last” and an echoing “what is ‘this’?”

I just hit the wall

would you rave in a church?

just a bro w titties and scoliosis

a walk down memory lane. I like to use social media as a living journal, sort of living as a documentarian of my own journey. maybe parts of my journey can help someone else. I was not a particularly “good” DJ when I left my job. I wasn’t quitting to “pursue music full time.” I was having major chronic health issues and worsening symptoms from the stress on my body and mind while devoting my energy and time to a job that was deeply unfulfilling. I’ve been extremely privileged to have the chance to quit my job and pursue essentially whatever I wanted for a year. My partner is a research chemist and we’ve been in the same one-bedroom apartment for almost 5 years now; we make it work, it isn’t easy, but as Aaron put it, he wanted to see what would happen if I was “released upon the world.” What I’ve learned most is if you have an idea, just start. Don’t worry about being “good” at anything. That comes after you’re mediocre for a long time (I’m still mediocre at all things art and music). You’ll never get good if you don’t start getting comfortable being perceived as “weird” or “bad” or whatever story you tell yourself about your sacred dreams. Just start.

Reflections on the 1 year anniversary since quitting my corporate full time job to explore being an artist.

Yalllllll idk wtf is up w the edits app today but is anybody else having crazy volume problems??? Sounds fine in the app but once saved, gets warbly and clipped?? You’d think this was the loudest audio of all time 😂 I found a “workaround” lowering the volume to 10% and screen recording, and then after uploading direct to insta it’s still like KOOLAID MAN loud??? 😅💀

when ur adhd hg is about to absolutely rip some bangers in the weekly voice note update