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sebulan isinya begini begini aje, ga gimana2, kecuali gua yang sedang memproses hidup setelah putus, harus di address bro itu, cukup anjing ternyata gua ke temen2 yg baru putus dulu ngomong “block aja, masa gabisa si ngelupain dianya jg ga seberapa”, hoho gua juga yg pd akhirnya merasakan struggle itu, sedih iya kangen iya seneng juga iya, gimana ya anying, banyakan bosennya sih, kan udah sendiri ya tapi gua merasa jadi lebih terbuka buat hal-hal lain, gua jd belajar idup sama gua sendiri, sumpah baru sadar kalo gua itu cukup insufferable orangnya, inget2 kelakuan gua, jujur kl ketemu orang begini udah gua pukul sih. oke terlalu banyak gua, tapi ya emang mau bahas kehidupan gua sebulan ini mau gmn lagi. susah juga ternyata kalo udah sendiri, gua jadi lupa gituloh cara menyayangi diri sendiri gimana, kayak waktu itu gua mau pergi sendiri kan, tapi otak gua mikir “ngapain kesitu? mau ngapain emang? emang boleh?” terus kl mau main sama temen, pasti gua ada hesitation padahal ya, UDAH SENDIRI, gausa mikirin ijin dll, cuma emang ada pasti yang tertanam di otak lu setelah beberapa tahun bareng sama orang, those little habits yg kadang bikin kangen tapi jadi lupa sama kebiasaan kalo sendiri gimana. sejauh ini gua jadi lebih aware sama masa depan gua, pun menyayangkan waktu yang udah gua lewatkan buat main2 kemaren harusnya bisa diimbangi sama kegiatan lain, biar bisa magang skrg, tapi yaudah, mungkin porsi gua dimulainya sekarang. ga nyesel sih gua bucin2 gitu, toh gua menunjukkan kalo gua sayang dan disaat itu gua senang2 aja. terus sekarang ngapain ya, pertanyaan yg gua lontarkan setidaknya 10 kali sebelum tidur, sekarang ngapain ya? GAPAPA gua membiarkan diri gua bosan saja, OIYA SHIT GUA UDAH MULAI NONTON SERIES LAGI, YAITU DARK, fun banget gila amazing, gua akan binge watching habisini, dah intinya segitu kehidupan gua akhir2 ini, beda 180 derajat dah, kita jalankan aja teman2

I really don’t have time to re-organize my room anymore, every second every minute i spent for college project and other things, even i haven’t do the laundry yet (it’s supposed to be last sunday), this semester is super chaotic, each time i thought about going out with myself, i ended up feeling guilty because i have other tasks to do, and i feel like i don’t deserve going out with a bunch of tiny voices reminding me of what should i do. i’ll just tell everything here bcs i think no one is reading this anyway, so, i feel like i am treating myself better than before (i mean the last 2 semesters), i think i was in hmmm idk i don’t want diagnose anything, but i think my life was kinda dull, pointless, and nothing but being an NPC, all of that bcs i feel not motivated to do things, like i forgot what have i done in that time, time goes by and i’m stuck, feeling soo stagnant and behind, it’s just making things worse yk? it does not motivate me enough, it’s super weird but i think i was just in an undiagnosed depressive stage, like i don’t have a life except with my bf, oh please i know it is miserable, i feel like every-time i go pass someone i know, they looked at me weird and everyone seems to be far away from me yet they’re right in front of me, i lost my social skills, literally life-less lump, i really did think to end my life at that time but i want to do better, and now is my attempt to recover it all, recover myself, knowing what was i like before? what was my life like? what is this that i’m trying to achieve? who am i? so idk, now i’m trying to remember my friend’s name, i will say hi to them even though i’m not close or just complete stranger to them, you know, building my social skills again, trying to speak for myself, actualizing what i really want, starting to treat and love myself better (though i haven’t done a single workout ugh i’m sorry), and less thinking about what people think about me, i just don’t want to know and please just let me do my thing. okay so this pictures, it really just a bunch of imperfections in my room, messy, dirty, looks like someone never cleaned their room, fuck i reach the caption limit.

what the fuck is october

TING NING NING NING NING NING NING NING NING🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊

😭❤️🩷💖💓💕💗💞🎽☺️♥️💪👅😆❣️☹️🚶‍♀️❤️‍🔥🖼️💋💝💘😀😎🌸🙏😍🫦🫵😂😘🐏

setelah dua tahun lamanya tidak ketemu jege?

aaa mpot-mpot ayam

mmm crab stick mmmm

😯😯😯😯😯😯

udah ini gw post ulang aja lah ya

mostly sasi🐰💘

my hot girl pics (one vid slips nvm)