It’s been more than 100 days since we last talked, and it feels like an eternity. I always started my day from bed with a long “ammmaaaa” shout, but now there is silence. I think of you a lot. I listen to your voice almost daily. I miss being with the sweetest person I know. I miss snacking with you at random times, and I miss all the voice notes and calls I used to get every day. I miss the love I felt whenever you called out my name. I also miss fighting with you over the silliest reasons.
I have only one more chocolate left in the fridge that you bought for me. I have one shirt that you properly ironed, still safe in my cupboard. It’s truly painful to even think about the life ahead, but I’m trying my best.
I was never someone who could cry easily, except maybe while listening to a soulful piece of music. But now, I guess I’m learning.
The worst has happened, and I am still breathing. I still smile and talk to everyone just like I used to. This pain is personal, but I hope I can let a bit of it flow through music. If I still have the strength and faith to keep going in life, it’s because of the way you raised me. One of the biggest lessons you taught me was to treat everyone kindly and with love, no matter who they are or what profession they belong to. I will keep all of your values safe with me.
Home is not a place, but a person, and I miss my home. The word I’ve seen so often these days is grief, and it’s the most terrible feeling a few of us will have to go through. I read somewhere that when our mothers leave us, they become a part of us, just like how we were once a part of them. I believe that, and every good thing that comes out of me is you, amma 🤍
Sang this favourite ghazal of mine raw into my laptop. Just nature, birds, and music. 🤍
Saat Suron Ka Behta Darya - Parvez Mehdi
Full video out on YouTube!
Sang this 10 years ago, and I know I’ll still be singing it 10 years from now. Grateful to have grown up listening to this gem 🤍
Original credits:
Sung by Ustad Mehdi Hassan
Music - Sohail Rana
Lyrics - Masroor Anwar
Today is Amma’s birthday.
I wrote this a month after she left, not really knowing what I was feeling. Amma used to tell me that if I wanted to, I could write too, and that is how this song came to life.
“Ee Irul Sandhyayil” was made entirely by me at home. This is the first of many I’ll write for you. I’ll carry you in every note I sing.
I miss you every day Amma. This is for you 🤍
