D //

Over the years, I’ve realised how much it takes to put something of your own out in the world, especially when people are only privy to the final product and not necessarily the journey that led to its creation. I understand why having a mode of expression is a game changer, and I see why it’s a privilege. Ever since I moved to this city, I‘ve been moving with a sense of urgency, as though, I have to constantly prove something. And in the process of figuring that, I stopped processing my own feelings towards everything - I lost touch with who I am and what I enjoy doing. A few months ago, I found myself in a position that was closest to what rock bottom felt, and I made a pact with myself: to try a little harder than yesterday, to find at least an hour in a week to lock in for myself. Creative block will always find its way to you, so I thought I’d start by creating something rooted in what I enjoy. That’s how I made Rocky in Kerala - the movie was nice, it was also easier to create something based on an existing matter. Then I drew a machine called The Chosen One (last post) - it was something that I felt at the moment. And now, Frank Ocean - well, he’s inspired me for years but now I understand his words better. I think the goal is to trace your way back to yourself - one way or another. Start where it’s easier but just simply gotta push myself to start. I guess now more than ever, I understand why Frank Ocean disappeared. I get it. He’s got us on chokehold for years. Art truly carries so much power, it’s humbling.

the drawing somehow explains how exactly I feel on many days and idk if anyone else will get it but the point was to find ways to always express and so here I am

Say rocky came to earth, I’m so sure he’d be put up in a zoo rather than building our version of Erid for him to live and love in his own pace, with no human intervention whatsoever. We truly expect the worst case scenario in most situations because we inherently know the extent to which people can go to prove a point. And so, we go an extra mile to protect ourselves. Somewhere I believe, life anywhere outside might just be kinder. It’s tough to believe otherwise cause look around - look at what we have done to our own kind - 🎨 created on procreate

Realising you don’t have to put up with everything and actively make moves to impress is truly the first time you taste freedom in it’s best form and isn’t that beautiful

I think it’s quite funny and sad at once when you realise that the world truly believes and perhaps, thrives thinking they truly know you better than you know yourself. It gets funnier the moment you realise that so much of it is so convincing that we spend half our lives just trying to find our way out of it I needed a small break from the digital world and I’m going to continue keeping my distance (I shall try) cause I was somehow convinced of the same and it’s been scary. Mid twenties is as confusing as it can get, but I’m knee deep into this ting and I’m also realising that I’m the only one that can save myself from the fall. I’m just happy today that I’m breathing fine and I have people I love - reassuring me about the light in and around me. And I’m learning to believe them if not my own voice maybe I was wrong, the only one that can save yourself is you and whoever you choose to scream your scariest thoughts to. Just make sure they’re people who believe in your light. So choose them wisely <3 As for the second slide - I got some pills for all my girls. My girls who gotta scream, laugh, be angry, raise voice - do it all as long as you’re heard. I enjoyed creating this one hehe, dm for supplies 🍬🍬🍬

if we really wanna know each other, we must go for a walk together

“The truth is, we all knew how she stood it. She stood it by standing knee-deep in the flow of life and paying close attention. Survival lies in sanity, and sanity lies in paying attention. “ Realising lately that paying attention and being observant is likely the only way to find joy cause there will always be 10 things wrong all the time and I will cry once in two days regardless but also my street cat let me touch her today and she let’s no one touch her. Isn’t that beautiful? Maybe that’s just hopeful. Maybe that’s the only way to be when life shakes you from all directions. Just gotta keep our eyes open to all the little things happening around us Some images from my 📸

Been in enough long distances but the one with Amma has to be the toughest one and maybe the cutest one too :)

I’m starting a series on what I feel is my biggest battle - identity crisis. It’s not the worst one to fight because every time I figure the smallest new thing about myself, it’s exciting. I want to know how much more I can do, the extent to which I can stretch myself. Every time I fell in love with a new subject, it intrigued me to know how good I can be at it. But it’s also what always confused me. There’s so much I always want to do, it’s tough to focus on one. But the endless possibilities, mmm - what a beautiful thing to explore. That said, there are days when I wonder who I really am and how I’d like to introduce Devika to someone completely new. There are days when I sit on the floor clueless about the kind of people I want in life and who I want to be in life. But I hope as the years go, I find myself in places and with people that help me understand myself better. And while we all figure that out for ourselves, I hope we move in kindness because a lot of us our lost in our lil spaces

sometimes it’s a whole write up, sometimes it’s a dance. Sometimes it’s a new series from a photo walk and sometimes it’s simply me. a conversation to myself - a little peak into my journal

It’s a very natural thing to build a sense of home wherever you go - through people, spaces, warm meals, conversations that tickle your memories; precisely everything that makes you feel safe. I’ve built mine across spaces and people and yet when I say I miss home, it’s often everything I felt growing up right here. Things change though. Your city starts looking different, the roads lead to different places. People you used to see around likely moved out and suddenly, you’re the stranger - the tourist in your own city. But it’s nice to see nonetheless, to even have the opportunity to explore it all again. Maybe that’s why, among it all - the sea calls you the most. It somehow feels the same - as pretty and warm as it ever was #vsco#indianphotoconcept#photography#kozhikode

As far as I remember, any and all festivals at home functioned in a similar language. Families coming together, eating a grand meal, few pictures, music, a little nap and conversations over a nice cup of chaya while we all watch the sunset. Some things never change and rightly so, I hope they never do. I have lost the number of times I walked into a space hoping for life to be as simple as this. I’d fly from places to come back home to this. Have my sister or Amma help me with the saree, eat home cooked food and sleep on the bed like I’ve never slept before. And as time passes, I’m only realising how much I’ll miss this - how I’ll do anything to revisit this