Becky Kearns

This is hugely complex and can be a real process of grief and acceptance to move forwards on this path. It also brings up so many conflicting feelings when grief and loss are in such close proximity to love and joy. I shared these words before and they resonated hugely, it took me a long time to write as it can be so hard to put it into words, being mindful of how I felt back then to how I feel now and also acknowledging how my children may also feel. I hope I've done it justice! Not everyone will experience this in the same way but for those who do feel these words, I hope it can help to provide validation and comfort to know you're not alone, whilst putting it into words for you. I'll be co-facilitating a workshop with the brilliant Julianne @parenthoodinmind at my event in October (link in bio) called 'All the losses we bear'. I'd encourage anyone this resonates with to come along if you can. Being able to share with others in a safe space can be transformational, knowing that people around you 'get it' and with a professional who can help to take your thoughts and feelings out of your head and make sense of it all. I would absolutely love to see you there in-person for a full day of support, wherever you are on your journey, whether it be right at the beginning through to now parenting after donor conception. @paths_to_parenthub is also designed to support with this too, helping you to navigate and better understand these feelings, so that we're in the best possible place to support our children. Does this resonate? As always, I love to hear your thoughts. 💛 #donorconception #pathstoparenthood #pathstoparenthub #donoreggs #deivf #deivfmama #deivfjourney #eggdonation #geneticloss #lovemakesafamily #youarenotalone #ttccommunity #pof #poi #lowamh #definingmum

I'm delighted to come together with the wonderful Emma @donorchild to share our top tips on talking to your young child about donor conception, both from the perspective of Emma whose parents were always open from a young age about her donor conception & from my own experience as a parent too. We know donor conception can be a heavy topic & so we hope this lightens it a little as we simplify when, what and how you can start talking to young children about this topic. As a parent through egg donation I know how scary it can be to start these conversations, but from my own experience I've found it to be an empowering way to become comfortable in talking about it myself, whilst building strong foundations for my relationships with my girls based on honesty & trust. Emma has shared just how much knowing from a young age has helped her "when I was born, my parents made a book for me. It was about their struggle with infertility, their feelings & my conception story. A book that explained about their choices but also how a child is created & developed. It was a happy book we often read as a nighttime story throughout my childhood & mentioned in this book was also my donor". There are lots of childrens books out there now to support you in sharing their story or you can create your own book, just like Emma's parents did. There are also many resources (including research) on talking to our children & how we can adapt these conversations as they grow, over on @Paths_to_Parenthub , along with a community of like-minded others too. It's not to say that telling early doesn’t mean they won’t have questions or feelings about their conception in the future, but it's been shown to give them the very best start in understanding how they came to be. 💛 #donorconception #donorconceptionsupport #donorconceived #recipientparent #donoreggs #donorsperm #deivf #deivfsupport #pathstoparenthub #pathstoparenthood #definingmum #parentingafterinfertility

I've shared these words before & wanted to share them again because I can’t think of a better way to explain how our girls came to be in one, age appropriate sentence. Talking in this way doesn’t discount anyone else's role, but it acknowledges how much love it took to get there, as well as how much love we have for them now. It took our donor's generous donation of her eggs, Matt's sperm, my body and both of our hearts being open to what it could bring. Hearts that were once heavy, but are now bursting because of them. I feel so overwhelmingly thankful that we were open to taking this path and truly believe that this and other paths to parenthood that are different from the 'norm' take so much heart, in making the decision, heading into the unknown and parenting beyond this with honesty and truth. It’s not a path to be taken lightly but one I’d walk over and over again to have our girls. I will never hold an expectation of them to be grateful, but they will always know just how much they mean to us and how lucky we are to be their parents. Although I couldn't use my own eggs and they don’t share my genetics, they will always have my grateful heart. 💛 #donorconception #donoreggs #donorsperm #recipientparents #deivf #deivfsuccess #deivfjourney #parentingafterinfertility #grateful #youarenotalone #loveisntgeneticallyprogrammed #tellingthechild #family #motherhooduncovered #surrogacy #adoption

Exciting News!! 🙌 From a chance encounter at a fertility conference in 2025… … to a meaningful partnership between a leading egg bank and a patient support organisation. We’re so excited to announce that all patients at Ovacy Egg Bank will now receive - 6 months complimentary membership to Paths to Parenthub More accessible support, amazing … thank you @ovacy.eggbank for investing into the wellbeing of families built through donor conception 🙌 (even if Becky and I looked more like dinner ladies than medical staff in our scrubs 🤭🫣) Keen to learn more about Ovacy Egg Bank? they are exhibiting at The Fertility Show this weekend, @definingmum and I will be there on the Sunday so come say hi!

Following a suggestion on a TV panel show that IVF is a lifestyle choice, something people simply “choose” to do, I shared my feelings that it is circumstance rather than choice that brings people to fertility treatment. This led to some challenges in the comment threads. So I put it out to you, to share your thoughts and your stories… and you didn’t disappoint! I was overwhelmed with comments and DMs. And it turns out I’m not alone on my hill. Many of you are right here with me. The responses broke my heart and filled it at the same time. So much pain and yet so much resilience, and so much exhaustion at still having to explain this! Infertility is a WHO-recognised medical condition. IVF is its treatment. There are so many reasons people need treatment, not ‘choose’ it. The people going through it deserve empathy, not assumptions. If this resonates, please share it. The more people who understand this, the more supported those going through it will feel. Love, Becky x 💛​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Five years ago I shared this reel and stumbled across it this morning… where has the time gone and how adorable do they look?! 💛 At our summit last weekend the lovely Alex @pursuingfatherhood shared how “the most difficult decision would have been the easiest, if only we knew what was waiting for us” and that has never felt more true looking back at this. I’m resharing because the message still feels as true now as it did then, and maybe you need to see it today. 💛 I know that this reel completely simplifies what can be a complex path to parenthood, with many conflicting emotions along the way, but what I wanted to highlight (alongside giving hope) is the real extreme of emotions that can be felt on either side of the journey. I sometimes can’t believe I felt so sad about something that has now enabled me to be so incredibly happy. As I’ve said many times before, I look at our girls now and I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, there are challenges ahead unique to our situation and sometimes I can’t help but wish for a less complicated story (mainly for them), but I love them completely for exactly who they are. I’m so proud of them and I’m proud of our story too, hopefully this makes you smile and gives you hope this bank holiday weekend! 💛 #donorconception #donoreggs #deivf

Over four years ago, Hayley @allthings_donorconception and I made this reel. We’d only recently met and were still figuring out what we had in common, what was different, and what it meant to hold both at the same time. Both as a recipient parent and a donor conceived person. What we found was something we keep coming back to, again and again, in our work together... that feelings aren’t mutually exclusive. Just because I feel overwhelming joy and gratitude for our family, doesn’t mean I can’t also grieve the genetic connection we don’t share. Just because Hayley feels happy and grateful for her life and her family, doesn’t mean she can’t also feel frustrated at industry practices, or a deep drive to create change for donor conceived people. Both things can be true, at the same time, without one cancelling the other out. It’s not a contradiction, but the reality of donor conception for many! We’re re-sharing this one again 4 years on because the message is still so true, even though a lot has changed since we pressed record! We went from two people who’d recently met, to colleagues and now close friends who get to do this work together every day through @Paths_to_Parenthub , for which I’m very grateful! Have you ever felt two emotions that you felt maybe “shouldn’t” go together? Does this resonate? We’d love to hear from you in the comments. (Also... I still love this song!🎶) #donorconception #donorconceptionsupport

We're proud to announce we'll be on the stage at @eshre_official 2026! ✨️🎤 #donorconception #eshre #pathstoparenthub #donorconceptionawareness #fertilityjourney

It’s International Donor Conception Awareness Day and my time has been somewhat limited this past few week (if you missed it, we had the most incredible Donor Conception Virtual Summit yesterday 💛) so I thought what better way to mark today than to reshare this reel that still, four years on, captures so much of what this community feels, learns and carries. I’m sure there would be even more to add today! As I was looking back through previous years I found so much helpful past content and, as this audience is always changing, I thought it was worth bringing some of it back out again this week. So there will be a few more reels to come, some with brilliant collaborations included too. If you’re thinking I look a little younger in them, it’s not some amazing skincare routine, it’s literally going back a few years! The theme back in 2022 was “let’s talk, listen and learn”. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that grief, acceptance and moving forward on this path is a real process and something it takes all of us time to become more comfortable with. And at the heart of that learning, always, is listening to donor conceived people themselves. It’s something that sits at the core of everything we do at @Paths_to_Parenthub , and something that never stops being important. In this reel we have a range of recipient parents and friends (including Hayley with her DCP hat on too!) sharing what they’d learned at that point in their journey. That was four years ago now. I’d imagine we’ve all learned a whole lot more since! Huge thanks to the wonderful Victoria @expectinganything , Alex @pursuingfatherhood , Kreena @kreenadhiman , Hayley @allthings_donorconception , Dani @dani_repsch , Allie @thebunlessoven and Julie @happytogetherchildrensbook for being a part of this. I’d love to hear what you have listened to and learned this past year? And if you joined us at the Summit yesterday, I’d especially love to hear what you’re taking away with you. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments and if this message resonated with you, share far and wide to highlight this important IDCAD 💛 #donorconception #idcad

A few days to go, and I can’t wait to welcome you. 💛 Every year we hold our Virtual Summit around International Donor Conception Awareness Day, because this community deserves a day that’s dedicated to this path, and every year it reminds me exactly why I created @paths_to_parenthub in the first place. This is not a clinical event, it’s a human one. Real stories, different perspectives, professional insights, and a space that holds the full complexity of this journey without shying away from any of it. It’s everything I would have wanted and needed when I was navigating this path, and it’s here for you now. We already have almost 100 of you joining us, and whether you’re still thinking about donor conception, in treatment, in the waiting, pregnant or already parenting, there is something in this afternoon for you. You can be completely anonymous if you like, on your sofa in your pjs, cup of tea or glass of wine in hand, because this is designed to work for you, wherever you are in the world. Plus, Hayley @allthings_donorconception and I will be hosting a focused session sharing all of our insights and advice on talking to your children and others about donor conception. Join us on Sunday 26th April, online, from wherever you are in the world. Watch live or catch up anytime in the 14 days after the event. Tickets still available, link in bio. 🔗 With thanks to our supporter of this event @avenues.life 💛

Thanks Mike for your opinion, I’m sure it’s based on plenty of personal experience 🙄 And a huge thank you to Brooke @theobgynmum for having our backs and for pointing out the long term benefits of supporting people through these significant but often misunderstood life events. 💛 Responding to the narrative on @stormandalexison5 that fertility treatment is a “lifestyle choice” and that supporting employees through it is too much to ask of employers. Because we’ve been here before, and sadly, we’re here again. It is not a holiday. It is not a sabbatical to the Himalayas (I can’t believe we’re still saying this)... It is an invasive, emotional, costly medical treatment to give a chance, not even a guarantee, of having a baby. The framing of IVF as a choice, something elective, indulgent, optional, is not only wrong, it’s harmful. It invalidates the very real trauma and grief that comes with infertility, and it keeps people suffering in silence for fear of judgement. IVF is not something anyone would choose over a conventional path to parenthood. For many, it’s a necessary medical treatment to address a reproductive health condition. It’s not a lifestyle - it’s a lifeline. And when employers are asked to offer support, whether that’s flexible working, time off for appointments, or simply a more compassionate policy, that’s not asking too much. That’s asking for basic humanity. If this resonates with you, follow @fertilitymattersatwork for lots of free resources to support you and your organisation. These conversations matter and you don’t have to navigate them alone. 💛

It's almost time and we can't wait to welcome you! 🧡 If you haven't booked your ticket yet, head to our website and join us for an afternoon filled with panel discussions and Q&A with lived experiences of recipient parents, donor conceived individuals and donors, insightful keynotes from professionals, supportive breakout sessions and more. Supported by @avenues.life Tickets available for members, non-members and professionals 🎟🔗 #pathstoparenthub #donorconception #donorconceptionivf #fertilityjourney #tryingtoconceive