i hope your fur never comes out of the furniture, or the blankets, or my clothes. i hope that ill forever see a single white strand floating around when the suns coming through the windows. i hope i find your fur in my mouth whilst im trying to eat. i hope there’ll always be fur stuck in the carpet that the vacuum cant get out. i hope i always get allergies because your fur is just everywhere. i hope i never move so ill always be where you were, but also all i hope is to get away so i wont be as scared to live without you.
i could tell its you from a distance. i could tell its you with my eyes closed. from your meow to the touch of your coat. i know the shape of your face and the shape of your body. i would know you by the bend in your legs. i would know you by all the ways you like to sleep. i know your favourite spots. i know the spot you hid that no one else ever knew about.
i know you dont like kids. i know your favourite spots to be pet, and the ones you hated. i know how to get you to sleep, i know exactly how to get you in my lap. i know what scares you, i know where youd run to. i know when you dont feel like playing, i know exactly when youre about to pounce at my toes. i know you dont like being completely under the blanket, you need to have an opening.
i know you inside out. and thats why i cant help but cry when i watch videos of you. doing the exact things that are engraved into my mind and soul. it feels too familiar and it hurts to know ill never get to see it again. it hurts even more bc i know exactly what you wouldve done in every situation.
i cant get you out of my bones. i miss you and i love you more than anything.
someone said time passes by differently in heaven. so when you first arrive and turn to look for me, ill be right there, and it would be as if no time passed at all.
this is my cat, winx.
she is, and now forever will be, 15 years old.
there aren’t many photos of us together because its only ever just been you and me.
we were just girls together. we grew up together.
my earliest memories include you.
you were my best friend, no one knew you like i did, no one knew me like you. you’ve taken half of my soul and all of my secrets with you.
i cant look in the living room, where you spent all of your time. the stray fabric on the couch you loved to dig your claws in. the bed we only bought for you this year.
i sleep every night under the blanket you loved so much you spent 20minutes making biscuits on.
theres still cat food you haven’t finished. what am i going to do with it? what am i going to do with all this space.
when i told people you were the most beautiful cat, they thought i was just saying it because i love you. but then they’d see you and every single person agreed. you’re such a special girl and its absolutely unfair to bring such an amazing creature into this world only for it to leave.
when the vet gave me that look, i knew straight away. it would be peaceful, quick, and whilst you weren’t yet in pain.
you weren’t even supposed to be here this long, you pushed on an entire year. all because you loved me. you pushed past what everyone expected, just so we could spend more time together.
im so sorry ive left you in that dark place. that was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. my poor kitty i couldn’t fathom it being the very last time id ever get to hold you or pet your beautiful fur. you felt softer in your sleep. i gave you your favourite ear scratches and got your chin just the way you liked. you’ll never know how it felt to watch your tail fall the way it did once you were gone. when i looked at you from afar i could’ve sometimes sworn you were still breathing. you’re by yourself right now but know you will never be alone. you’ll come back to me soon and i will find you again one day, just wait for me. there are kind people there who i know will take good care of you for me until i get there.
i love you my darling.
sweet dreams winxy.
