In quantum mechanics, observation is not just looking. It is interaction.
A system can exist in multiple possible states. Only through interaction does one outcome become defined.
I experience something similar within myself.
I hold many states, many versions. They all exist as potential.
Attention does not create them. It amplifies and reveals one of them.
I choose what I allow to be seen.
People around me will confirm completely different things about who I am. And they will all be right.
Because each of them has seen a real part of me. Just not the whole.
Every part of me is strong enough to look like the entire picture.
But it is only one perspective.
And I am not limited to one.
Yesterday I hosted an event in a public place.
And it went beautifully.
I felt calm, relaxed and completely in control, even though I was the only one responsible for everything.
At some point one of the guests came up to me and said he was surprised there was no one around.
He said, “I’ve never seen this place like this. It’s usually chaos here. You must have done something.”
I smiled and told him it would stay our little secret.
But honestly, moments like this don’t surprise me.
Things usually unfold exactly the way I see them in my mind.
Nothing distracts me from my vision.
And if something does, it only means there’s something within me that’s not fully aligned.
When I’m clear, everything around me reflects that.
I know it might sound a little mystical, and I don’t usually focus on it,
but people often point it out to me, because in their world things work differently.
I simply live in a world where things respond to me.
I stepped out of my hotel just to go to the bank.
And suddenly I caught a feeling I hadn’t experienced in… 25 years.
Like I’m 9 again.
I’m walking somewhere in the center of Paris.
People are sitting outside at tables placed just on the street.
Phones, bags just left there.
No one is worried. Everyone is relaxed.
Someone is playing with a ball.
Someone is walking their dog.
The sun hits these old carved doors, the facades, the fresh green leaves.
And inside me silence.
Not tension.
Not control.
Not that background anxiety you don’t even notice anymore.
Just… calm.
And I realized something.
As a child, I felt safe because I didn’t see the tension around me.
Now I feel safe because the space itself is different.
These are two completely different things.
I suddenly remembered what it feels like to live without that inner contraction.
Without constantly being on alert.
And also how important aesthetics are for me.
Not as a picture.
But as an environment you breathe in.
Light.
Textures.
Architecture.
People.
When all of that aligns, you don’t just live.
You come back to yourself.
And for the first time in a long time,
I feel at home.
