My wife thinks I should just tell our kid the truth, but if my daughter finds a god, I want her to find that god on her own terms, and I think this is a righteous first step towards either somethingorother or whateverthefuck.
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I’ll be at @heliumcomedyatl this Thursday through Saturday. Shout out to @heliumcomedypdx for the time and robotpiratemedia for the tape. As always, please follow me so I don’t get kicked out of comedy.
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#Comedy #Goth #Humor #Emo #PanderKing
I’m legally obligated to say that this is just a joke and should in no way be taken seriously. Shout out to @sethkellygram and @donttellorangecounty for the time. Please follow me so I don’t get kicked out of comedy.
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#Comedy #Standup #StandUpComedy #Joke #Humor #LOL #Drunk #Grocery #Reels #Comedian #ComedyReels #Comic #Live #Story #Stage #Show #Performance #Beer #Bar #Drinks #Alcohol #Punk #Emo #PopPunk #AvrilLavigne #PanderKing
This one takes a second to heat up but I hope y’all stick with it ‘cause most of my bits are way over 90 seconds long but if I don’t post reels I can’t get more followers and if I don’t get more followers they’re gonna kick me out of comedy. Shout out to @mcmenaminsalsden for the time and @ComedyInFocus for the tape. Also, I gave my cousin a fake/different dead name in the joke in an effort to be respectful. I go deeper into the concept of dead naming in the longer version of the joke but, again, reels are limited to 90 goddamn seconds, so if you wanna hear that part come see me live.
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#Standup #StandUpComedy #Joke #Comedy #Humor #Reels #ComedyReels #Live #Story #Stage #Performance #Dad #Cousin #Cousins #Family #FamilyTime #Ohio #LGBT #LGBTQ #Trans #Transgender #Transition #Black #White #Race #Man #Dude #Bro
You’re more of a Greg
🎤: @curtiscookcomedy
📍: @comedyjamwich
** “Katie” is a stand in name for this joke ✌️**
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#cousin #family #comedy #comedyjamwich
This is an ouroboros of a post in that its existence perpetuates that which it seeks to critique. Also, this dude’s first Netflix special was so infamously bad that it fucked over a countless number of comics who wanted to sell their hour.
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#Comedy #Jokes #Humor #Standup #Story
The economy is in dire straits, but @md2020 and I got your back. Gas is too expensive and grocery bills are outrageous, but we’re still an affordable way to start your night fast and end your night hard.
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For legal reasons, I have to encourage you to enjoy alcohol responsibly. But personally, I say enjoy it however you want. But, again, legally, technically, you should be “responsible.”
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#Comedy #Jokes #Humor #Standup #Wine
My friend Alex is worried this joke makes him come across as a “white savior,” but I think it makes him look like a cool guy who still lets me tour with him even though I’ll pull a gun on someone just to advance the plot. And, you know what? Friendships like that are special and rare.
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John Brown was an American hero who used the 2nd Amendment for its true purposes. I’m reposting this joke because, while not nationally recognized (for obvious reasons), today is John Brown Day. He’s often regarded as the man who started The Civil War, the war which set my people free. It took a war to end centuries of slavery, so any coward who tells you political violence is wrong is either a grifter, a liar, or a fool.
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Before they hanged him, John Brown’s last words were, “”I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with Blood.” It’s been over a hundred years since his hanging, and I still don’t think he’s wrong.
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#Comedy #Jokes #Humor #Standup #Story
Heard this was the newest way to post standup. This woman is my hero, and The only lie about this brief memoir is that I ever had potential in the first place. Please follow me so I don’t get kicked out of comedy.
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#Comedy #Jokes #Humor #Standup #Story
Here’s a preview of my newest merch inspired by my wife! The shirts are free on an honor system: If you’ve had a miscarriage, you get a shirt for free. Consider it a consolation prize? Who knows. One in four pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, so this is already a fiscally shitty idea. That’s why I only got ten of them (nine, if you count my wife taking one for herself). Also, the only size I bought was 5XL. That way, anyone who qualifies can wear this as the weirdest maternity clothes of all time the next time they’re pregnant (which was also my wife’s idea).
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Anyways, I’ll drop the joke about this soon. It’s the first bit for which my wife’s ever truly qualified for a “co-writer” credit. And as much as I wish we’d never stumbled across the premise, she and I are excited to share it when it’s done.
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#Comedy #Jokes #Humor #Standup #Story
Gone but not forgotten. Spirit Airlines, you were the Greyhound Bus of the sky. I’ll always remember that time you made me take a buncha shit out my bag and stuff it in my pockets even though we both knew I was gonna put everything right back in my bag the minute I got on the plane. I’ll never board Southwest without thinking of you, and now that you’re burning in hell, I hope no one gives you water without charging for it.
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#Comedy #Jokes #Humor #Standup #PanderKing
We got HOT shows all weekend long featuring our fearless leaders Friday and the hilarious Curtis Cook Saturday! Get your tickets from the link in bio 🎟️🎤
This week, SUPERIOR SHO and @blazerramon are welcoming Curtis Cook [@curtiscookcomedy ] 👏🏼
⚡️Curtis Cook is a standup comedian and WGA Award-nominated writer with an impressive list of credits across TV and comedy. You’ve seen him on Portlandia and Comedy Central, and his writing has been featured on Crank Yankers, This Fool, Survival of the Thickest, American Dad, and more.
Named one of Vulture’s “Comedians You Should & Will Know,” Curtis brings a sharp, seasoned perspective you’ll want to catch live. 🐼🎤
🗓️ Thursday, 4/30 @ 7PM
📍 SUPERIOR PHO
3030 Superior Ave E, Cleveland, OH 44114
🪑 First come, first sat. Or RSVP to name your own price and support the SHO.
🔗 Link in bio
🍜 Come for the pho, stay for the laughs 🎭
#superiorpho #ClevelandComedy #SuperiorSho #CurtisCook #Cleveland
![This week, SUPERIOR SHO and @blazerramon are welcoming Curtis Cook [@curtiscookcomedy] ️Curtis Cook is a standup comedian and WGA Award-nominated writer with an impressive list of credits across TV and comedy. You’ve seen him on Portlandia and Comedy Central, and his writing has been featured on Crank Yankers, This Fool, Survival of the Thickest, American Dad, and more.Named one of Vulture’s “Comedians You Should & Will Know,” Curtis brings a sharp, seasoned perspective you’ll want to catch live. ️ Thursday, 4/30 @ 7PM SUPERIOR PHO3030 Superior Ave E, Cleveland, OH 44114 First come, first sat. Or RSVP to name your own price and support the SHO. Link in bio Come for the pho, stay for the laughs #superiorpho #ClevelandComedy #SuperiorSho #CurtisCook #Cleveland](https://sp1.picnob.com/p/pt_6739106562474556724034_0_b07d6763a2b976cac0ab9879aab0796e.jpg?o=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&h=4acd75d49e7e42dd9a038d8eec4f55ec)
