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Wow, what a year. Physically I did what feels like some of the coolest things I've ever done in my life while mentally I discovered more about myself than ever before. I pushed my body to it's limits summiting some of the wildest peaks that few attempt, pushed my mental fortitude to it's limits with some of the spookiest free solos I've done and even pushed my healing journey to it's limits through consistent support from my counselor and psychiatrist.
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Through all this I have learned a lot about myself, about people, relationships, communication, my needs and my boundaries. Our energy and capacity is limited, our decisions more powerful than we might know. The choices we make today will ultimately dictate what tomorrow brings. Rationality is scarce; time is even more scarce. Be mindful. Be kind, but also be real. Say what needs to be said. Do the thing. Live passionately yet within reason.
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Here are some videos that sort of perfectly capture my year, kink parties excluded 'cause obvi no cameras allowed.
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#mentalhealth #rockclimbing #mountaineering #alpine #scrambling
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Existing with BPD has been an absolute nightmare. It's clear to me why we eventually fall into a headspace of self hate and disgust. I can openly share this without shame or hesitation, I loathe that part of me. There is a hell inside my head that I have been at war with for years and battling with my whole life.
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Throughout my experience I have come across people who's presence has been nurturing due to the work they've put in personally or simply by the nature of who they are. Regardless of the how or why, I find a level of co-regulation and calmness in them that allows me to feel normal for a moment. That being said, these people who I care about so damn much are not safe from the emotional dysregulation that I can loose myself to.
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For those who have been burned by my hell, I am sorry. Everyone I've ever given all my love to just to impulsively strip it away after they've wronged me, I am sorry. To those who have opened their hearts to me only to feel the sting of loving me, I am sorry.
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📷 @sturty_94
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#adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #ridgeline #callaghanvalley #callaghanlake #cirquelake #britishcolumbia #bc #canada #mentalhealth #depression #bpd #bpdawareness #livinghell #checkinonyourhomies
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After living a middle-class dirtbag life in my van for 5 years full time I was forced to move inside due to a series of unfortunate events. I was receptive though, I knew that the lifestyle had given me all it had to offer in terms of experience and growth and that I was ready to end that chapter in my life in order to start a new one. Whenever a door is closed new ones will open, always.
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My call for help online in the Squamish housing group was responded to in a way that I could not have imagined. I was flooded with support and responses from countless people. I remember going to a show at Trickster's and several people I didn't know came up to me and asked how the house hunt was going, wishing me luck. My very numb, medicated and broken self at the time felt a deep level of gratitude for the first time since my mental break.
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7 months later after spending a good amount of energy, time and money making my first home in 5 years feel like home I received notice that I had to move out. Frustrating and deflating to say the least. Again I posted in the housing group and again I received an incredible amount of love from the community.
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It's these moments that remind me I'm meant to be here. Yes here in Squamish undeniably living my best life but more importantly I'm meant to be here, alive and breathing. It's been a little over a year since I started succumbing to my suicidal ideations but thanks to my environment (all y'all) I've been able to find some necessary hope and resilience within myself again. I am grateful for you and this incredible community; you are individually and collectively a light guiding those in need through a dark world. Know that.
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Thank you.
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #adventure #mountains #vanlife #dirtbaglife #dirtbag #grateful #staypositive #pma #beer #craftbeer #microbrewery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #checkinonyourhomies
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For Kyle's 31st birthday we navigated the ridge that fenced Cirque Lake in. It was surprisingly awesome up there with high quality scrambling and unique abrupt shifts in environment. From lush mossy forest to Mars like rock, alpine tarns to glaciers and a few banging waterfalls ejecting from the glacial cliffs above. We called this loop the Cirque du Cirque Lower.
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #ridgeline #callaghanvalley #callaghanlake #cirquelake #britishcolumbia #bc #canada
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After sending the Armchair Traverse twice in a month (I loved it that much) I figured why not go after another peak in the same area that I was having so much fun exploring. The obvious choice was Wedge. I had no idea it was the tallest peak in the Sea to Sky and Garibaldi range, I simply saw it in the Alpine Select book and thought, "cool." We agreed to take the voie normale route but going up and over Parkhurst to bypass any possible glacier travel when heading to the west ridge. With our gameplan locked in it was time to execute.
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Once we got to the top of the Wedgemount Lake trail we took a hard right and headed towards the big rock hills covered in trees and shrubs. As mentioned in some resources there really wasn't much for trails and markers from this point onwards. It was a true adventure, swimming through tiny prickly little trees and shrubs trying to get down to the lake's west end where you cross a stream to get on the south side of the lake. From this point on you're mostly travelling over talus until Wedge's summit, a proper slog.
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The crux is definitely gaining the NW ridge of Parkhurst, it's a route finding mission on mixed terrain of clumpy sand and loose rocks until you get on top of the rock bluff benches above and can start scrambling upwards. Once you go far enough south east there's an obvious gully that is clearly the path of least resistance to the ridge. Ascending Parkhurst was unexpectedly rad, would recommend. From here you drop down into a rock basin and punch up on to the obvious west ridge of Wedge all the way to the summit. Fortunately by then the acid had worn off and I was able to really lean into the sufferfest that is the west ridge.
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Mt. Wedge (2,895 m)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #glacier #wedge #wedgemountain #parkhurst #wedgemountlake #britishcolumbia #bc #canada
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Wedge, the tallest peak in the Sea to Summit and Garibaldi mountain range. As an off the couch athlete this might have been a bit much for my busted body but I managed to summit and get back to the truck in one piece more or less. This was my first 3000m day, pretty stoked. Wedgemount glacier is insane to see from these perspectives making the objective worth navigating talus for 12 hours.
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Mt. Wedge (2,895 m)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #wedge #wedgemountain #wedgemountlake #parkhurst #britishcolumbia #bc #canada
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I wanted to show Brandywine Meadows and Bastardo to my good homies Kyle and Adrianna who I knew would enjoy it and were capable of such a big day out. After a beautiful albeit steep approach we arrived at the base of the climb. It smelt bad, real bad... like human poop. Turned out someone, likely the guys just ahead of us, took a slick dump 5' from the first bolt and put a few little rocks over it. We did our best to relocate it but it was messy and both Kyle and I got it on our hands. Cool cool cool. Good start.
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We unpacked our bags in the stank cloud of crap when I discovered that I forgot my climbing shoes. Also v cool. Since I've climbed up to 5.9 in my Vans I knew I'd be fine on this low angle 5.8 so up we went. As a party of 3 it was going to take much longer to summit so after leading the 5th pitch I untied from the rope and started scrambling and soloing while they climbed the actual route. This truthfully made it easier for me in my Vans and allowed me to take some great photos and videos of the homies as an added bonus.
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After summiting we had planned to avoid the less than ideal walk off down the untamed gully by rappelling so to speed that up we brought a tag line in order to do full rope length rappels. After fighting with the worst tag line knots you could imagine Kyle finished the first rappel and down Adrianna and I came. Turns out with that much friction on such low angle rock it's impossible to pull a tag line, the rope was stuck after the first rap and wouldn't budge. I had to solo back up to the summit and retrieve the rope. Cool cool cool.
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Once we arrived back down to the base of the climb, as if being thanked by mother nature for cleaning up the human feces, we were rewarded with an insane sunset while hiking out. It definitely made the faff fest of a day better and was a real treat to experience.
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Bastardo (5.8, 12 pitches, sport)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #sportclimbing #sport #alpinemeadows #bastardo
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Some really nice photos of our day out climbing in the alpine. A wicked good time with wicked good people.
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Bastardo (5.8, 12 pitches, sport)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #sportclimbing #sport #alpinemeadows #bastardo
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The Armchair Traverse is an extremely unique knife ridge that connects the summits of Mt. Cook and Mt. Weart. There aren't a lot of knife ridges around these parts that are this possible without roping up. Sticking to the spine of the ridge offers the most secure rock, that also means you are physically and mentally engaged for a little over an hour while scrambling and climbing up and down the ridgeline's features. That much exposure and intentional movement causes a lot of mental fatigue but that is exactly what I love about it, having to exist in a flow state where every move must be calculated and intentional or be faced with devastating consequences. Staying present, focused and grateful for every step.
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Mt. Cook (2,676 m)
Mt. Weart (2,835 m)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #armchairtraverse #kniferidge #ridgeline #mtcook #mtweart #britishcolumbia #bc #canada
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The other week I got to lead some homies up Mt. Cook, across the Armchair Traverse and down Mt. Weart back to Wedgemount Lake. It was my first time leading a group across the heavily exposed and spicy Armchair ridgeline, I definitely could have been a bit more dialed and efficient but no one died so I'd count that as a win.
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Mt. Cook (2,676 m)
Mt. Weart (2,835 m)
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📷 @sebastianccanon@carlosbabio
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #armchairtraverse #kniferidge #ridgeline #mtcook #mtweart #britishcolumbia #bc #canada
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It took a hot minute but I finally got to go climbing with these rad humans. Since we've had a hard time lining up schedules we figured we'd make the most of our day together by doing a multi pitch in the alpine. Kaylie suggested Bastardo, a newer 12 pitch scramble/climb in Brandywine Meadows. Nothing technical about it making it a high value low effort kind of adventure, would recommend. You can link most pitches and I'd say there's only 4 or 5 pitches of actual climbing.
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Bastardo (5.8, 12 pitches, sport)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #sportclimbing #sport #alpinemeadows #bastardo
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Here are some photos from our adventure up Fee. The only thing higher than our stoke to summit was our desire to get off that mountain.
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Mt. Fee (2,162 m)
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#climbingworldwide #wallsaremeantforclimbing #climbing #climb #rockclimbing #rockclimber #outdoorclimbing #friendsthatclimb #adventure #mountains #vanlife #alpine #alpineclimbing #summit #mountaineering #peak #peakbagging #scramble #mountfee #mtfee #deathmarch #badidea #britishcolumbia #bc #canada #scary #spooky
