Filmmaker. Actor. T1D. 23.
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"You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.ā - GWH
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Finally hitting the ground running on this script after a long time in the writerās room. Feels good to have a project back in the pipeline.
Shooting August 2026. Follow along at @lastcall_short_film for updates/bts during the process.
Iād thought about what to do with this for the longest time. This was a class final during my time at SCAD (Speaking of Ideas class last year) that Iād held off on putting into the world for various reasons. Too brash, itās a class project, I donāt want to make my life all about diabetes. Well itās World Diabetes Day, and I guess I can do it this once.
I donāt expect everyone to sit through all 6 minutes of me yapping, but hopefully someone does and it affects them. 18 years diabetic in January š«”
Summer 2025 -
Years come and they pass and leave me with fleeting memories to look back upon. Yet in the moment I never considered how brief the seconds were. All I was living was a wave of brief snippets of time that felt like theyād go on forever.
As I look back on whatās likely my last full time summer in the Sequoias (at least for the foreseeable future) Iām felt with a strange contentment. I havenāt felt this feeling before. Motivation, rejuvenation, confidence in myself and the community surrounding me? Thatās all a story Iāve read before. But this contentment resonates differently. Thereās an air of a chapter closing more concretely then thereās ever been.
Whatās odd is if you asked me during my first summers here, I wouldāve never guessed this would be the ending of this more active chapter at Bearskin. I wouldāve thought it would entailed more of one last celebration, nothing but romping through the woods with a backpack on, drinks in hand, and stars to sleep under. I mean, that was never going to be the case.
It was quiet nights by myself in headquarters, it was sleeping by myself on an overlook. It was driving home to cook whiskey black pepper glazed salmon, and it was sitting at Glacier Pool on my days off reading. It was reflective and melancholic in a way that only now do I truly appreciate. That doesnāt mean there werenāt joyous times (the prank wars were aplenty) but on the whole it felt like watching a stunning sunset filled with vibrant colors, and only now could I truly smile at the scene laid out in front of me. I wouldnāt have it any other way.
To everyone who has been there supporting my journey and has given me the space to grow up the mountain, and to everyone who has done and is continuing to do that for others up there, thank you. To my fellow management members, it was a blast, and Iām so grateful to have been able to spend so time with each and every one of you this summer.
Now hereās to making a movie (so insanely hyped for this!) now that my feet are back on pavement instead of dirt paths.
As I finish what is bound to be my last assignment here at SCAD, Iām left pondering the words of myself two years ago when I was moving to Savannah, starry-eyed and full of hope. āThis is it, the step to the big time.ā Iād convinced myself that this was the route to fulfilling my dreams, to seeing myself become the filmmaker and storyteller Iād dreamed of becoming. I stepped onto my first set as a grip, eager and ready to learn, and then in an instant that dream was reality.
Thirty sets later, two short films written and directed, and two years of college later, Iāve realized that my heart and SCAD are in two very different places. I know my heart is set on the trial by fire route of living, the itch of creation just lingers too constantly in my head to be not living with either a camera or a pen in my hand constantly. So I decided this past quarter to pursue that in California again, to let another vision of hope fade away in pursuit of something else.
I hope that this is the right move - every apartment tarot reading and ear Iāve asked to listen has seemingly confirmed my thoughts. I hope that by relocating back West Iām able to bring back a more laser-focused and determined version of myself. As I told a good friend of mine on a phone call recently, Iām not living life in pursuit of the parachute. I just feel like this is the end of the road in Savannah, although my heart will be with the city and what itās given me in life.
To the people here Iāve been lucky enough to befriend over the past two years, I hope you know that you made this decision to move west more difficult than Iād thought it would be. This past quarter especially, but throughout the two years Iāve grown close with so many people whoāve impacted my life in ways I didnāt know was possible. Iāve learned and laughed more than I have in my recent memory. Iāve been to the beaches, woods, and trivia bars on Wednesday nights and each moment spent here was surreal in its own way. Not always for the happiest, but always for the best. The community here has given so much and I hope to repay that tenfold some day.
Now for the immediate future, the Sequoias awaitā¦
A handwritten journal excerpt from the road - unedited for clarity.
August 16, 2024 - I just turned 22 when Iām writing this, and for the first time in my life, I well and truly donāt feel like a kid anymore. Iām sitting up in a hotel room in New Mexico at 12:23. Wait. The dateās wrong.
August 17, 2024
Iām sitting up in a hotel room writing this as a bit of a reflection of sorts, in large part because I pushed the LITs I was working with to start journaling and reflecting and feel like itās time to find a better method of that myself. But that age of 22, itās really a culmination of a stretch of time wherein Iāve been forced to grow up and step back into the world. Itās been a line I have almost felt like Iāve been toeing for a while now, especially given a lot of my life experience being pushed to be the āmature kidā really quickly, but I think itās really started to set in. This entire year has shown me to trust, from finally stepping back into a (short-lived) winter/spring relationship to stepping up into a position focused on building leadership in kids at a place that taught me so much when I was there age. Itās been forcing me to be outside of my comfort zone, to not just be my authentic self but to be vulnerable with people in a way that isnāt protected. I think Iām finally beginning to heal.
At the same time, I donāt know if Iāll ever fully heal, but I think thatās okay. For so long Iāve been so focused on what happened in my life that I donāt think Iāve really been forced to stop and slow down and look at whatās there in my life. Tyler graduated, and Iām lucky to have been able to see that, to have been there in person for that. I have a community at Bearskin thatās grown and blossomed to be a beacon of support up and down the mountain, now from thousands of miles away. I have people I can pick up and call and with no notice, can drive through and create lasting memories and truly just feel comfortable and safe around them. And Iāve finally began to love and care for who I am again. Maybe thatās enough for now. Anyways, I should probably go to sleep. Another day on the road tomorrow, and hopefully only three more until Iām back in Georgia.
- CJC
Winter quarter 2024 - Well, itās certainly been a quarter. This quarterās even had events happen. And those events have happened on days. Which, thereās been a lot of days, which means Iāve been busyā¦
Melodrama and finally getting to moderately breathe aside - still have a couple more projects to wrap up before I take off for a week to the woods - this has been one of the most eventful two month stretches in a while. It feels like life has been constantly throwing everything at me that I feel like I can handle, but then the second I start to adjust, it tosses a little bit more in the mix. And thatās been surreal to look back on.
Over winter break, I was contacted to work a total of three thesis. As a grip. And I really thought Iād have a calm quarter in the grand scheme of things. Oh how naive I was.
Total count, 2 grip, 1 1/2key grip, 1 camera utility, 1 1st ac, 1 1/2 gaffer, 1 director and my first time stepping in front of the camera with legitimate acting work since like, high school? Itās been incredible to track growth, to track the journey and how far itās taken me over two months, let alone start to think about how far the journey can keep going in the coming future.
And to all of the people Iāve had the opportunity of meeting and getting to know, whether chilling out under a blackout tent and talking basketball, delirious shooting nights until 3AM, or discussing music and putting more people onto the incredible album that is Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen, itās been wonderful so far. These types of connections are what make the journey so worth it, these bonds that are starting to form and deepen, and to finally see that shine through, itās a particular feeling that I canāt quite describe?
After a period of frustration and dark times, of stagnation and inertia, the wheels started turning over summer. Then, the WD40 got sprayed on the tracks last quarter. This quarter? Full speed aheadā¦
Hereās to 2024, all 366 days of itā¦
Closing the book on 2023ās been a hard pill to swallow, and Iāve been trying to figure out why. Obviously, thereās the whole part about the passage of time, and all that jazz, but something felt different this year. 2021 and 2022 felt like stepping stones, like groundwork being laid, whereas this year was the start of actually breaking out of my all-too-familiar cycle of planning and leaping headfirst into doing.
Now, at times itās been hellish. I mean, I lived out of a hotel room for three weeks while starting classes. My car broke down in the Sequoias. Iāve lost countless nights sitting up at my desk, trying to rack my brain to write something, to finish a project. And then once I finally wrote everything I could, Windows broke on my laptop, forcing me to reset it to factory, losing nearly all of my scripts in the process.
But to focus solely on that would be a disservice to the life thatās happened, thatās been started. Like, I got a new job at Bearskin and loved it (and hopefully did a solid job helping people š¤·āāļø). I got to spend an incredible weekend in Maine, rekindling old connections and really discovering myself as a person. Again, I moved across the country. That wasnāt in the cards even six months ago, I threw out my application on a whim and a prayer.
Thereās been so much good and so much great thatās come out of the year, and itās been needed. (Like seriously, I havenāt even scratched the surface of what this year has meant, both the good and the bad.) For too long, lifeās felt stagnant, frozen as I ran on a hamster wheel coated in molasses back in Lompoc. This year is the unpredictability thatās been needed to force growth, change, and for me to experience life, rather than simply surviving it;
Finishing up this summer has been a wild ride to say the least. I mean, somehow itās been enough to get my post-averse self to actually make three full posts about the absolute chaos this summer.
Stepping into a new role was daunting, beyond just the definitions of the role itself. For the first time in a long time, Iāve had to be a vulnerable person, because in my eyes, bringing that vulnerability and comfort within it pushes us to grow. And how can I expect the people who Iām trying to foster growth in to grow if I canāt myself?
Across the summer, Iāve been pushing these limits and boundaries Iāve set for myself. Iāve been getting more comfortable within my own skin. I kayaked across a lake solo, and looked out over the world with a massive fear of heights. I sang! In a public setting! Thereās been so much laughing and so much crying, sometimes even simultaneously if the moment is right. Iāve met some incredible people who have genuinely been life changing, and have watched old friendships develop into something more surreal and close. Itās been wonderful, and a perfect way to close out my California chapter.
Thank you to everyone, not just at Bearskin, not just at home in Lompoc, but everyone across the past 7 years of my life whoās made life worth living. For once, I canāt wait to see what the next page of the script holdsā¦
Iāve reached my Barbenheimer phase, complete with Bearskin pictures, my car breaking down, and the karaoke performance of a lifetime. Donāt judge the cinematography of the karaoke though, one might say that night the music seemed too loud⦠šš¤