This year it has been very hard to celebrate my first birthday without my Dad (it took me a week to even look at Instagram lol🫠), or to feel like there’s anything in this world to celebrate at all.
Grieving the loss of someone to suicide is very complicated. It is scary, isolating, full of mystery, haunting what ifs, and painful hope that something can be different, even when you know it can’t.
Right now, my dad’s suicide is the biggest thing about me; avoiding it is avoiding myself, and avoiding my dad. The way he left this earth will always sadden me, but it is only one small part in his story, and I’m not ashamed of my Dad in any way💖
My dad will always be alive and with me in everything that I do. Talking about him, talking about my grief, and talking about this experience are ways that I honor my dad, carry him with me, and start to understand my new relationship with him.
To every person who calls me, who asks how I’m doing, who tells me they’re thinking of me, who shares a memory of my dad, I thank you so much. And biggest thank you to my incredible boyfriend who supports me every day and gives me the space to feel all of my feelings, however wild they may be😵💫.
Right now I’m defined by my dad’s suicide, but for eternity I am defined by the love he gave me, the wisdom and lessons he shared and the people he touched throughout his life.
I’m not ok yet, and I won’t be for a long while. But I’m proud to continue this journey of life with my Dad beside me in my heart every day, and to keep writing his story alongside mine, with happiness, sadness and everything in between❤️🩹
On September 8th I lost my incredible father, Davin Williams to a completely unexpected suicide. While recovering from surgery, he was prescribed a medication with side effects of suicidal thoughts / depression and tragically these side effects took hold of him.
To know Davin is to feel seen, heard, supported and loved. Unconditionally.
He taught me the value of hard work, the importance of being a good friend, to listen without judgement and to find joy in the simple things in life.
Davin loved style (not just fashion), basketball, a nice smooth scotch, his friends and most importantly his family.
I am still processing his physical absence, but I will always celebrate his presence. I will continue to say his name with joy, to share his story and to spread his love every single day for the rest of my life❤️
If you or any loved one is struggling with the challenges of life, please reach out to the 988 Lifeline.
/obituary/davin-williams
