COSP Facilitators recognize the term Secure Base which we use to describe the roll of the caregiver to support children’s need for exploration.
Being a Secure Base can sound simple. We spent some time last month showing you why it isn’t.
Our first live workshop explored something that does not always get enough space in COSP Facilitator Training: Being With on the Top of the Circle. Most of us learned to pay close attention to Being With on the Bottom — helping children organize big feelings feels urgent, and it is. But what happens when a caregiver is genuinely present while a child explores? Not just watching, but delighting, following, staying available without taking over?
Neil Boris, COSI Leadership Team, put it plainly in the session: there is more to it than the training has time to unpack. That is exactly what these workshops are for.
#CircleOfSecurity
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#TopOfTheCircle
#BeingWith
Strong, Kind, and Committed is what the teacher is working to become, not what they are working to implement.
Strong, Kind, and Committed isn't a checklist. It's a relationship.
For many children, their early childhood educator is the first person outside their family to say, without words: you belong here. You matter.
The research has known for decades what children have always felt. That relationship doesn't just shape how a child feels at school. It shapes how the brain itself is built.
To every early childhood educator: thank you. For the steady presence. For showing up, and showing up again.
Happy Teacher Appreciation Day! Link in bio.
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#TeacherAppreciationWeek
#ThankATeacher
The administrator doesn't sit in the classroom. But whether a teacher feels safe enough to try something different, whether a coach feels trusted enough to say something honest — that starts with the administrator.
Security doesn't just flow down through an organization. It moves in both directions in every relationship, at every level. You can't give what you haven't received.
Administrators support coaches the way coaches support teachers. Teachers support children. And the quality of that support ripples across the whole organization.
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#EarlyChildhoodLeadership
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"What if the way I protect myself... is getting in the way of what I need most?"
Core Sensitivities describes the patterns we developed early in childhood to feel safe and loved — conclusions we made, often without knowing it, about what we needed to do or be in order to belong. In COS, we recognize three central themes: separation, esteem, and safety.
We all have them. They're not weaknesses. They're the places where our history quietly shows up in our closest relationships — in how we parent, how we teach, how we care for others.
The invitation isn't to get rid of them. It's to notice them.
What do you notice in yourself when caregiving feels hard?
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#SharkMusic
#AttachmentScience
#ReflectiveFunctioning
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"I need you to... Support My Exploration."
In the Circle Of Security Model, The Top of the Circle represents the child's need for a secure base and support for exploration an instinct to follow their innate curiosity, when it feels safe to do so. When a child feels secure, they venture out. They discover. They learn. And when they're ready, they come back.
What does it look like when a child in your care feels safe enough to explore?
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Earlier this year, over 400 professionals across Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Adelaide completed COSP Facilitator Training with Deidre Quinlan — equipping them to bring Circle of Security Parenting™ to the families and communities they serve.
An enormous thank you to the local hosts of these trainings: Natalie, whose warmth and logistical magic made Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane run beautifully — and to Sally and Italia, who made Adelaide something really special.
The work of building secure relationships starts here — in rooms full of people willing to reflect on the hard stuff and take it back to the families they serve.
We'll be returning to Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane later in 2026. Details to come.
To those who attended: what has stayed with you since training? We'd love to hear your reflections in the comments.
Rupture and repair are a natural part of every relationship.
In the Circle of Security, a rupture happens when a caregiver is temporarily unable to meet a child's attachment needs — and repair is the moment they find their way back to each other.
No relationship is without rupture. But every repair teaches a child something profound: the connection between us is strong enough to hold.
What does repair look like in your relationships?
#CircleOfSecurity
#RuptureAndRepair
#SecureAttachment
#FollowTheNeed
#BeingWith
The reaction came faster than the moment needed.
And then the guilt.
What if that moment isn't evidence of failure? What if it's the first time you've been able to hear something that's always been playing in the background?
The Circle of Security calls it Shark Music. And once you know how to listen for it, everything shifts.
I wonder what opens up when you let yourself wonder.
Read more on our blog (link in bio).
In the Circle of Security, Safe Haven is the caregiver's role on the Bottom of the Circle, where children seek comfort, protection, and emotional regulation when distressed, overwhelmed, or needing connection.
Our goal isn't autonomy alone. It's autonomy within relatedness. We all need to know we can do things on our own, and also know we have someone to turn to when we need it. Our Safe Haven.
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#FollowTheNeed
You've probably tried talking yourself into feeling okay. Sometimes it helps. But what if real change isn't something you can think your way into?
The nervous system knows the difference between a concept of safety and a felt sense of safety, lived in a body, in a relationship, over time.
That's not a failure of will. That's neuroscience.
We reflect more on this on our blog. Link in bio
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#circleofsecurity
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Your child is grown.
The relationship is still growing.
You’re no longer bandaging scraped knees — you’re navigating career setbacks, relationship conflicts, and adult boundaries.
And still:
The same wisdom that guided you when your child was small can guide you now. It just looks different.
Being Bigger, Stronger, Wiser and Kind doesn’t disappear. It evolves.
Want to know more? Link in bio.
#COSP
#CircleOfSecurity
#BeingWith
#BiggerStrongerWiserKind
#SecureAttachment
The magic was there all along!
Your child races to show you their artwork, eyes bright with excitement. Your teenager rolls their eyes but still tells you about their day. These aren't random moments – they're the Circle of Security in action.
You're already doing it. You just need the language to see it.
Read more about Hidden in Plain Sight: https://zurl.co/ZGo89
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#EarlyChildhood
#AttachmentParenting
#SecureBase
#SafeHaven
#HiddenInPlainSight
