Alternate Storm to a Mislaid Vision is out Fri. Dec 8th! This album was written over 4 years, recorded in 2 days, and finished over the course of another couple years. It’s been a slow but satisfying process building it out as the money and time has presented itself. We’re so grateful to everyone who has contributed with their skills or support as it’s taken shape. For more official info we think the bandcamp page is really cute. You can peep it at the like in our bioooo. NYC Folks mark your calendars for a Dec. 9th release show. There will be a variety of art to join the music, incl poetry, zines, and more! More details soon. ⛈️💙
One year without my big bro.
One year with a new hole in my family. Jeremy was a brother to a lot more people than me, and the scale of his passing stretches so far beyond me. For my niece, nephew, and Dad, it has been life altering in ways I know I can only understand the surface of. But the deep sadness and longing to share another laugh or long hug with my big brother has been one of the most isolating and private experiences I’ve had so far. Jeremy could awake something in me, and in my Dad, Grace and I when we were together, that now feels like such a unique chemistry that only he had access to. He would ignite a sense of shared humor or family struggle that would get us rolling in laughter for hours or uncovering earnest fears or dreams.
He was sweet and fierce, which was so good and sooo bad sometimes. He overcame so much and that feels a little comforting and also deeply painful. I’ve been struggling with that pain for a year now and I’m so so so so appreciative for all the friends who have made plans with me even though I’ve buried myself in distraction, or who have asked how I’m doing even when I think it’s a good week. I love you more than I can ever say.
If you made it this far, please be empathetic to the unhoused siblings you walk by, please view mental health care as health care, please consider evaluating how you view incarcerated or formally incarcerated people and add more love and respect to the equation.
Since my last grandparent passed away earlier this year, my Opa, my feeling of what “Home” means has been challenging me. I’ve spent more months at HOME during Covid than any other year since I left, and that time is slowly ending and I feel the preciousness of it.
It feels like my maternal family ties exist now only in our collective memory and future will power. The old house has been gone for a few years now but a picture of the Orange tree that I never knew I’d miss brings me to tears.
The structure shifting feels like the beams that held the memories together are slipping. So, I’m making a record of my current moment - in an effort to be closer to all the moments I don’t have records of anymore.
Welcome Home, Son - @radicalfaceofficial
Big Day! Please Vote! <3
If you don’t know where or how visit iwillvote.com or @votesaveamerica or @votedotorg or even hmu and we can figure it out.
Film photo captured right after we broke records in turn-out and election numbers for women, racial minorities and LGBTQ candidates in 2018.
Voted for #bidenharris2020 so a more diverse future is closer, so climate is taken seriously, so lives outside of the upper middle class become precious, so that rhetoric and respect toward women (and for that matter people who are different from each other) is restored in our leaders, so that common ground is something we strive for instead of seen as weakness, etc and mostly because love!
Don’t Just Vote - #CassMcCombs
Black Lives Matter. #blackouttuesday .
Swapped the black box to this incredible painting by Minneapolis artist, Leslie Barlow.
In response to the call of Black friends to express intentionality when posting today, I’m posting this to claim in the most public way I can- that I am in support of Black Lives and will do what I can to demand reform in our justice system and actual justice for the Black people of this country. I’m not posting this to assert myself but to hold myself accountable publicly and also to support a blackout on social media of any content that does not specifically amplify or support Black voices and perspectives. They are screaming to be heard and I would like to be part of creating space for them to be.
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For those made uncomfortable or feeling challenged by what you’re hearing, seeing, reading please please please don’t dismiss it... consider reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo which I found incredibly essential, or read How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi with me as I try to be better myself.
MY LITTLE SISTER, LIFE PARTNER AND BESTFRIEND HAS A BIRTHDAY AND FINISHED COLLEGE TODAY!
The family was supposed to be in Phoenix today watching her accept her HARD EARNED well deserved bachelor’s degree. Instead, I’m posting a bunch of hilarious and cherished pics of us growing up, including two photos from graduations past for good measure and a lil vid of some fun and free moments from year 22!
Some BIG PDA for my sis coming at ya. Grace, you’re an inspiration. You do more and think more deeply than anyone I know, you have intention and foresight that is truly enviable. Those who are loved by you are so lucky, because it’s true love. It’s loyalty, it’s patience, it’s honesty. I’ve gotten the privilege of watching you grow up and learn so many hard lessons and become such a shining person from them. I wish was there was a word bigger than proud because I am so immensely proud of you. I’m in awe of how accomplished you already are - so young but so much life lived and won.
I’m so sad I can’t be with you on this big day (that I know doesn’t feel that big) but I’m doing everything I can to be with you soon! Love you forever in the realest way.
HUMBLE BRAG MY SIS IS A GRAD!
Adore You - #harrystyles
Earth Day!! A wonderful reminder to buy local and used and avoid single use plastics!
I’ve never been more present than when caught suddenly in a thunderstorm, soaked wet. What’s more unifying than our shared perspective of the rise and fall of the sun. Nothing is more humbling than the vast expanse of the sky.
Big appreciation for the tree outside my window getting me through my NYC quarantine - with limited to no access to green space. I exalt this tree.
Feat. my new fav song
What in the World - @_anthony_worden
Mom and I visited Grace in Phoenix so we could all be together for the anniversary of Hudson’s death. All the sadness and frustration that typically comes with this time of year was softly held in a little love cocoon we made for each other. I’m so grateful for my relationship to my family and was so happy to be with them, and at the same time so sad to not be with my other parents and siblings on this day that affects us all so much. Added bonus of having my dear cousin Blake around who shares our pain and we share his. We sang our hearts out to the sound of music soundtrack on a drive down a mountain. We cried at brunch. We met his fiancé. We celebrated new beginnings. We cherished each other. Despite the bad, despite the lose of best friends and siblings, we still have each other and the capacity to love anew.
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5 years gone is a crazy thing to wrap my head around. With every year comes a new wave of the reality of it, and this year came with the increasing inability to remember the specifics. I’m grateful for photos and songs that take us back instantly - even if we can’t place it in time or circumstance the feelings persist. The love, the depth, the reality of a relationship lost. With 5 years gone I look forward to new memories in his honor. To sing Willie Nelson in a bar at midday with my mom and sister, knowing that it doesn’t matter how ridiculous we might look. We’ve got each other.
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P.S. ALSO so cool to see Grace’s life out in the LITERAL DESERT - you’re crushing it sister. A leader. A friend. Fun. Driven. Smart. I’m so so proud of you.
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#WaylonandWillie
WELCOME BACK TO THE LAND OF CHAMPAGNE & DISCO BABY!!!!
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Summer came to live with me the summer of 2015 (pics from that time featured). She was about to be a freshman and I was finishing my thesis and saying goodbye to my college days. Tonight she’ll return and SHE will be waving goodbye to her college days. I am so excited!!! I feel so lucky to move through major life events with such a kindred spirit. I feel like a bit of my soul will feel whole and safe and we will dance and sing loud in unison in the streets and contemplate and discuss and hold each other only like sisters can.
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NEXT Step - #VampireWeekend
Got to go home for a bit in July. Here are some pics from a lovely time seeing my family and from spending time on the beach with Graham’s.
I haven’t posted in a bit because I want to be honest here, truly, as a real record of where I’ve been and to try and be a presence on social media that uses this constant contact with each other in a positive way. So here is where I’m at, & if you want to recommend any podcasts or books after reading HMU. Haha.
It is always really hard to readjust to New York after being with family, and friends who’ve known me so long they are like family. Still not used to it after 7 years.
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I’ve never really tried to plan my life, I grew up knowing control is kind of a made up concept. That truth was driven home after after my brother’s death and I kind of let go of any dreams I had for myself. I returned to New York to survive, to finish my education, to not have to be reminded of our loss on every corner, to not have to pass the tree. Then I stayed here after graduation because my friends and job were here, because the distraction of the city is a drug. Lots of friends have left, some have stayed, new friends have been made, I’ve started building a life with beautiful Graham, and sometimes life is so sweet I can’t bear it. But then I go back to California and feel the weight of my inaction, I feel the distance I’ve put between the person I used to be and whoever I am now. I used to have a clear sense of identity but recently I feel like I’m less of a survivor and more of a floater. What felt brave before feels lazy. My dad said on the phone yesterday, “failure is not trying”. So! I’m going to try and figure out who I am now, who this new version of myself is, keeping in mind that control probably still isn’t accessible but that goals and dreams might be ok to reintroduce in to my life. First step - get out of debt!
Cazadera - #FruitBats
Graham Hall appreciation day! If Graham is snow melting under the sun then he is the kind of snow that sparkles as it does so, in a meadow where wild flowers will bloom in and because of his absence. The impermanence of life is known but our impact is not. I have gotten to know Graham for a handful of his 26 years and I feel like a wildflower because of it! Thank you for your influence and care Graham, happiest birthday to you 🤗
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P.S. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention what a great birthday present it would be if you (friend, old friend, stranger) followed @grahamhallstuff here & on Spotify. Help us build a community garden. Haha kk HUGS & KISSES to you all & especially Graham.
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Bradford Circle - #GrahamHall
