Have you ever had the feeling like you’re drowning, and you’re desperately trying to surface, but it feels like there’s just a force, a pressure almost that keeps pushing you down, and you panic, and that does nothing but make it worse? That’s been me for awhile now with my medical situation. It’s been so overwhelming that I’ve even paused in making artwork about it because I’ve been fighting so hard to be seen and listened to, and to get medications and treatment. Life with complex chronic conditions is exhausting, and when I was going to my fourth iron infusion last month with a clouded head, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw this yellow bellied sapsucker woodpecker right in my path. He was incredibly out of place in the middle of Nashville, which left me with a very uneasy feeling - he should have been in the forest, not hitting glass paneled skyscrapers near Broadway. The image of his very out of place small body sat with me during my whole infusion, and I’m not a huge person to look up meanings, but the meaning of finding a dead woodpecker specifically did jump out at me, which I’ll include below:
This is a warning about imbalance or overexertion: Because woodpeckers exemplify relentless work, their death may symbolically point to burnout, physical exhaustion, or the consequences of ignoring limits.
And that’s... something to think about.
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