Catmanatee

I am exhausted after this weekend but wanted to make a Trans Day of Visibility post as it feels more important than ever to be visible and out and proud of who I am. Being queer and trans right now isn’t easy but am trying to take time to be proud of myself and being resilient in face of it.

My one photo from @dollfest Vol.II but this weekend was a blast and can’t wait for our team dinner tonight and then to go be a gremlin for several days. I will be honest the last 3 months have been kind of a depression pit with stress, leaving a dream job to work on my own businesses and art, just the world being on fire, etc., etc. but this fest felt healing in a way that just felt magical. I felt so inspired creatively and the community we are building feels so wonderful and like we are making something that I can see growing to be a huge festival and can’t wait to see what the next year brings. Thank you to all the bands, community, vendors, and crew that helped make this all possible. It is no small feat to make this happen every year and can’t wait to announce next year!

So happy to have these in hand for @dollfest ! I love seeing things I have designed in the real world! Check out Dollfest.net if you want to pre-order yours and pick up at the fest!

Heading to @dublab for @peoplessoundsystem Who Owns the Music? conference on behalf of @subvertworld ! I love getting g to talk about what we are doing and how artists and creatives can make a living from their work and collectively organize. Come by and say hi! I am on a panel at 12:30 so don’t miss it!

⭐️ PANEL HIGHLIGHT ⭐️ Freya Yamamoto has spent her entire music industry career championing independent music. Her contributions to the Bay Area punk scene through her label Prize Fighter Records or as Chief Tentacle at Jello Biafra’s legendary Alternative Tentacles Records are numerous and felt by her community. Currently, she’s working to help develop and manage Subvert, which presents itself as a truly independent worker-owned music platform for artists and by artists, while also building out a vinyl pressing plant in the SF Bay Area with the aim of continuing to make this vital infrastructure available to independent scenes. We are so excited to have her share her experiences working in these spaces and providing insight on how we can continue to maintain our agency in independent music and art spaces. Catch her joint panel with @earth__poems , Cooperativizing and Resisting Exploitation, March 15 at @dublab . Ticket link in bio 💥💥

I don’t get any pics with Vivian last night but made it to 1 year of marriage!! I never would have thought I would be married let alone make it to 1 year but so happy to be with my wonderful wife! We had a lovely dinner @emmysspaghettishack and a relaxing evening afterwards but was a lovely little evening.

I think between just generally being busy with work, life, trips, etc. it is hard to take a moment and reflect on where you are and how you got here. I don't think my teenage self would have dreamed of the life I have since I know she was just trying to stay alive and figure stuff out but wowsers is life actually really amazing personally. The outer world is on fire but this year has been a big year of growth, learning, and coming to find self worth and value, in world that doesn't seem to want trans people to exist. I have run one of the oldest Indie punk labels still around and grown it significantly to the point where others are interested in my work, I am in the works of getting the financing together to build out a vinyl pressing plant in the Bay Area, Doll Fest Vol. 2 is going to be so much bigger and better next year, I got married!, and just genuinely feel like things are really great.

Last night was fun getting invited to a private event / holiday party to see The Coverups play! Also have to say that Billy Joe does a great Billy Joel and they felt like they were having a blast playing some of their favs and just enjoying playing music.

According to the FBI, I am so powerful that my mere presence is going to cause societal collapse! Dang. If I only knew this sooner I guess I should have pushed harder to come out sooner again. But in all seriousness this is insanity that they want to punish trans people for the extremists on the roght pushing for fascism in the USA. I really hope that allies and many come to their senses and see where this is going and we are only the first dominoe they want to topple. It is hard to be strong and feel like participating in the capitalisic system of oppression that holds many of us down when your basic rights are being threatened to even exist in society. If any of my friends need a shoulder to lean on, cry on, or just someone to hold them in this time, I am here for you and may call on you for the same at some point. If not before then now is the time to get politically involved to make changes for positivity in our world. I may be a goth girl but will not let the darkness consume myself or those around me. We need to stand up to those that wish us harm and we need allies and more to do the same. We are not the enemy of cis people or het people queer and trans people are your loved ones and some may not have felt safe to come out to you or others because of the political climate but just because they wish to silence us does not mean we do not exist. We just want to be people living authentically as ourselves and respected. Anyways off to save the world from bad music...

I had a rough mental health time with changing my hair up a couple times and just being a bit all over the place brain space wise with dysphoria and such. That said getting my hair back to blue and getting some new makeup to experiment with has definitely made me feel more me. I love feeling punky and queer but femme still in my own way. I also love that Vivian and I go together like a odd pair and I think dying my hair a natural color threw that off in a way I didn't expect. Sometimes you just need to figure out what gives you gender euphoria and go towards it. Also starting to get back into making art more consistently especially for myself has been wonderful and made me feel empowered. I want to try and figure out finishing a few pieces and getting prints and some physicals made to try doing a gallery show next year. Hoping If I can put it out there then can make it happen.

Dang I made it to 4 years on HRT!