C-Word Support 🌻

For the longest time, caregiving has always taken up a good 80% of my life. I feel like over the past few months I’ve found myself in a position where I have to manage 2 things at one. During Covid and during the harder parts of life, I had my focus only on caregiving. And as change always is, it’s been a bit of an adjustment for me again. Having your loved one be in remission can feel very uneasy. It can feel like the biggest relief and the biggest stressor in your life at the same time. I feel grateful for the good. I feel grateful that I now have the privilege to also focus on work, to focus on myself, to breathe once in a while. And even though on some days it feels like there is a rope tied to my leg that is attached to a car speeding down the road, never knowing when the rope is going to run out, but hoping that maybe this time the knot is loose enough to snap. If that makes any sense 😅

I feel like one of my hardest battles to deal with, In the later stages of my caregiving journey has been trying to find any form of balance between caregiving and my career. I’m 23 now, and everyone around me has a job , making money, starting up businesses, and going to work. I have a lot of friends who are caregivers as well, and still have found some kind of balance between caregiving and earning money. The feeling of being left behind has been very prominent recently. And funny enough, this feeling comes up most when I have a lot more free time to myself. It’s like one day I wake up, and it’s 2025 and all of a sudden, all the time I spent trying to manage and cope, everyone else was already moving ahead. When the scans and blood test slow down a bit, that’s when I realise just how far behind I feel. I wonder if other people feel the same. Not really sure what to do with my life. One day at a time for now. 🫂

Support is a funny word. It can look so different for each individual person. Sometimes, I don’t even know how I want to be supported. When everything feels too much, and things are piling up, I don’t know what support looks like to me, I just try to accept any amount that I get from people that care about me. Losing the opportunity to learn things about yourself due to lack of time, resources and support is a very painful thing. I feel like caregiving has taught me a lot that I didn’t know about myself. It made me realise how big the smallest gestures are when I’m burnt out. Days when just trying to show up seems impossible. For those days I will always try ensure that love and appreciation will bring out the best in me, even when times are dark and scary ❤️ What is something that y’all feel supported?

Weather you know it or not, caregivers are always subconsciously in flight or flight. There are some days where I’m so submerged within tending to someone else’s needs, I realise I haven’t showered in 3 days. Sometimes a difficult week can really take a toll on you. For me, there are high highs and lows lows. For something like chemotherapy, luckily (in a weird way) it gives me the opportunity to prepare for that bad week. Cancer caregivers know just how turbulent that one week can be. So having the chance to mentally and physically prepare helps a lot. And as bad and drained as I feel sometimes, the highs always make me smile. I try to not let the difficult weeks take that away from me. Easier said than done I guess. There is so much to be happy and grateful about in my life. It’s ever changing and for that I’m really grateful. Change is the only thing that helps me keep going ❤️

It’s been 6 years since my life started to see a lot of change. So much change happening so fast, makes you think over everything you thought you knew. Makes you feel like if all the things you wanted to be are even worth wanting anymore. It was a lot to take in and all in all made me one very angry 16 year old. I felt like everything was being taken away from me. I’m 22 now, and have alot less anger than I did. Being able to care for the people you love, is the most beautiful thing and has taught me more about myself and the kind of person I want to be than anything else. There are hard hard days and Change was ruthless to me but, change made me realise what really matters to me. And when dealing with the changes in my life, no matter how hard, I made sure it made me a warm and kind person. what more could I want ? ❤️

Caregiving and breaks For the longest time, I never took my breaks from caregiving seriously. I’d always either dismiss them and convince myself that they don’t really do much for me. They were like a formality to me, like something that just needed to be done. We know there’s no manual for caregiving, and the only way you learn is through experiences. After a bit of reflection, I’ve realised, my breaks not only help me not feel human again, but they help me be a better caregiver. When I take mindful breaks, I feel happier and stronger, and more present. I need breaks to feel more healthy, to maintain relationships outside of caregiving and to remind myself of the things I love and that bring me happiness. My breaks teach me more about myself, and the more I learn about myself, the more I can care, For myself, And for the people I love ❤️ A reminder to take mindful breaks regularly and enjoy your morning coffees guilt free🫂

Someone once told me about the “cycle of care giving”. It starts when you are thrown into it. No one gets to decide that their going to do this, the same way no one gets to decide to fall ill. You are running on your human instinct of having empathy for another person. The weight of it slowly starts getting to you, till one day you realise it’s been months, and the motivation you once had has completely disappeared. All you think of, is when this hell will end. Then someone comes up to you and tells you how strong you are, how the work your doing is so inspiring, caring for another person. It makes you feel good, and reminds you of the work your doing. The statement you hear gives you strength, maybe even boosts your ego a bit, makes you feel good inside, like you’re a good person, that you’re doing good things. And the cycle starts again. I find it so fascinating, because no one would really want to admit this to themselves. No one wants to admit that sometimes caring for someone you love, is hell. But it’s the hard truth. Caregiving in itself, is so complex, is so intertwined into all aspects of your life. Don’t be scared of your feelings, you’re human and you’re valid, And you have a very very hard job to do 🫂❤️

Cancer fucking sucks. Having cancer sucks, having a loved one with this disease sucks, Treatments for this disease suck, Losing someone from this disease sucks and suffering from this disease sucks. Cancer affects everything. And what hurts the absolute most, is the amount of power it has over you, your life and everything in and around it. I personally feel the more I know about the disease, the less powerless I feel. It gives a sense of control, which helps when you are at the mercy of this disease some days. Being a caregiver to someone in a very helpless position, is not easy. C-word support is a space for Caregivers and people who are dealing with a family member / friend, who has cancer (or any chronic mental/physical illness) to feel a smidge less powerless and alone.(not trying to cure cancer with an Instagram page😋) Some days, all we want is to feel less alone, and more in control. So hopefully, this account makes at least one caregiver, feel less alone.❤️🫂