Introducing my directorial debut,
Despite It All. ๐ฌ
A deeply personal project shaped by resilience, vulnerability, and heart.
So grateful for this incredible team for helping turn a vision into reality. โจ
Written, directed, and produced by me.
Cinematography & Editing: @jaybanzia
Executive Producer: @jared_hanson_
Production Assistant: @iggynavarro
Cast (in order of appearance):
Bridget Avildsen, @itsdanipower_ , @iggynavarro , @theseanburger , @tapelegacy , @billyvera
Featuring โDo The Astral Planeโ by @flyinglotus
Dedicated to my father, John G. Avildsen โฅ๏ธ๐ชฝ
#billyknightchallenge #shortfilm #directorialdebut #despiteitall #womeninfilm
Part human; part woodland fairy nymph๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธโจ๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธ Thank you @jaybanzia for capturing me in my element๐ป๐ง๐ปโโ๏ธ๐ฆ๐
I often feel like Iโm drowning.
At times the waves can be smooth and clear, but then they can also be rough, reckless, heavy and take control.
Feelings, emotions, anxiety, depression, regrets, whatever it may be-can sometimes consume me to the point of feeling paralyzed...but I wonโt let it break my spirit-for I am strong, and Iโve worked too damn hard to get to where I am today. Keeping my head above water, to the best of my ability๐ ๐โจ ๐ท @jaybanzia ๐ @wolventhreads #mentalhealthawareness
All these these self tapesโฆ
and somehow it still doesnโt feel like Iโm really creating.
I donโt think Iโm the only one who feels this-
like youโre doing everything โyouโre supposed to doโโฆbut youโre not fully in it.
Not shaping it. Not building it.
Justโฆ waiting around it.
Iโve been feeling that.
And Iโm done staying there.
I miss the process-
being surrounded by people who feel things deeply, throwing ideas around, taking risks,
building something from nothingโฆtogether.
That space where collaboration becomes something real-
where the impossible starts to feel possible.
Not just as an actorโฆ
but as a storyteller. As a director.
I donโt want to hide behind the โright opportunityโ anymore.
I want to create it.
So this is me taking action.
Putting myself out there in a way that feels a little uncomfortableโฆ but honest.
If youโve been sitting on something-
an idea, a character, a story, a world you havenโt fully stepped into yetโฆ
I see you.
And maybe we donโt have to build it alone.
At some pointโฆ you just have to say fuck it-
and make something real. Iโm ready. Hmu ๐ค๐ฌ๐ญ
#womeninfilm #creating #inspiration #takeaction
Iโve realized I havenโt really been very active on here this year or shared much of what Iโve experienced. Iโve been looking back a lot latelyโฆthis year has held a lot of heaviness, pain and grief, but Iโm also trying to make space for the good that existed too. My 2025 actually began in Norway, and Iโm reminding myself to feel grateful for adventures like this. And this was only the beginning of the trip.
We started in Tromsรธ and took a bus before sunrise through winding fjords and glacier-carved valleys until we crossed into Finland and reached Kilpisjรคrvi, this tiny northern village that feels like it sits at the edge of the world. We suited up in full Arctic gear, hopped on snowmobiles, and rode straight out onto the frozen Kilpisjรคrvi lake-literally across ice-then continued through quiet snow-covered forests that felt completely untouched.
Our destination was something really unique: a place called the โBorder of Three Nations,โ where Norway, Finland, and Sweden all meet at a single point in the middle of the snow. Thereโs a marker out there showing where the three countries connect, and standing there felt surrealโฆ like being in three places at once, wrapped in silence and a landscape of pure winter.
This entire experience was beautiful, exhausting in the best way, and worth every second of effort. These photos definitely donโt do it justice. And yes, it was absolutely freezing. My eyelashes and nose hairs actually turned into icicles. But Iโd do anything to relive it again. โ๏ธ
