Bob’s Disco

Fresh out of the jungle this Saturday we can't wait to host the amazing @craigcharlesfunkandsoul here at @keelesu With a stacked line up of local talent including dj sets from @substitutestoke residents @bobs_disco and Brent, plus @editgrant_ and master cats Like that wasn't enough @averagejoemusicltd will be performing live Tickets available from skiddle, Ticketmaster and Keele's website

Next bank holiday Sunday I will be joined by Stokes favourites K-Klass and Allister Whitehead for my: Golden Classics Bank Holiday Special with K-Klass, Allister Whitehead & Pete Bromley 9pm - 3am with warm up support from Maximum Bob and Nick Stockley Tickets now on 5th release on Skiddle

Stoke City v Blackburn Rovers Today’s mid table mediocrity debacle is brought to us by what’s left of the Stoke squad, and struggling for survival, The Riversiders, hovering just above the drop zone, in 19th place, and piloted by former Stoke reject Michael O’Neil. Not a bad lad, and nowhere near the worst manager we’ve had name Neil. The Riverside nickname was chosen by a team of academically challenged Lancastrians, who noticed that Ewood Park, their home ground, is in fact, right next to the River Darwen. You don’t get genius like that these days I’ll tell you…… Anyways, Stoke were absolute shite on Monday v Derby, just the absolute worst. Not one shot on goal for over 100 minutes of pure tedium. If that Stoke side shows up again today, Rovers will win by at least 5 goals. The Girl Guides first eleven could probably beat us 10 - nil too. However, Honest to God Robins has spoken, and says that our team of mollycoddled pansies, wish to make amends, and we’re going to win, dead easy! I admire his confidence, if nothing else. We have lost another couple of Nancy boys this week though, out for the season with a broken toe nail, and friction burns to the foreskin. We never used to get this when TP was here, coz he’d punch the living shit out of all the weaklings, and get them to pull themselves together. Or else they had to stay out on the training pitch until it went dark. In the pouring rain. Every day. That’s not that £12 million 5* training pitch they’ve got now. It was more like them pitches I played on with Garth Crooks, where the mud was knee deep in the penalty area. He always scored though. We never stood a chance……. Two more write ups and 5 games to go, 3 at home. 15 points to play for. FFS, Come on Stoke!

Stoke City v Sheffield Wednesday I feel a bit sorry for the Owls, one of the oldest clubs in the football league. Not because Owl is a stupid name, and reminds me of the Fast Show, but because of the way they’ve been treated by the EFL for financial irregularities. They’ve been deducted 15 points because the owners stopped paying the bills, and fucked off with the money, leaving the club high and dry. So they are already relegated. Despite this, they have sold out their entire allocation of 3,262 tickets at the BET 365 today. Proper that is. Good on ‘em. The only people impacted by this draconian punishment are the players, and the long suffering fans. And if some kind soul bails them out, they will start next season a league down, and on -15 points from day one. What is this stupidity meant to achieve? Most footballers are as thick as shit, some, like Gary Lineker and that Neville bloke, are just down right c@nts . Either way, it’s not them who need punishing. Stoke’s injured, and depleted squad, have been on their international travels again, so it’ll be a miracle if we can field a full team today, so if anyone has their kit with them, there’s a good chance you might get a run out? Just make yourself known to Mr Robins when you get there. Throw stuff at him to attract his attention. That’s what I do from Block 7. I’ve not been picked yet though. I’ve resisted posting the “We are Shite” banner thats knocking about, in favour of the usual “We are Stoke” one that I’ve used all season, but if Stoke don’t win today, it’ll be the only photo I ever use in the future. 7 games left, 4 at home, 21 points to play for. The play offs are just a distant memory………. This time next season though Rodney………….. ! FFS, Come on Stoke! https://youtu.be/SwcIzdRwqg0?si=t79z15_AHBYOjixC I’m playing a few old soul records at the Ale House down Stoke after the match……it’s for a worthy cause…… swing by for Grumble & Grumble ® why don’t you! Scott Mills touched my ferret……….. 😳

Men’s mental health. It’s a thing. We are all affected by it either directly or indirectly. If you think someone is struggling a bit then check in with them. Ring them up, drop them a text, call round for a brew, meet up for a few pints, go for a walk, get out on the bikes, go to the gig, the gym, the curry house, whatever. Unfortunately we all know someone who hasn’t made it through to today. It’s nice to be nice. Today the substitute crew are playing some tunes as we take over the ale house. There’s food on, decent beers and quite possibly dancing 💃 🕺🏻 See you there. ✌🏻

Stoke City v Watford Here we go again, 9 games left, 5 at home. We are in 16th place, Watford are 9th, and it’s young Terry’s birthday…… He’s 85. He’s seen more Stoke games than I’ve had hot dinners. Stoke battled hard in the first half on Tuesday night, against a skilful Ipswich side, fully accomplished in the art of shithousery. Not as good at it as Arsenal like, but good enough to turn a 2-0 lead into a 2-3 winning position, during our regular 10 minutes of Petit Mal, at the start of every second half. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that we’d got a doppelgänger putting Temazipam in the glucose drinks in the dressing room? We’ve been utterly useless for the first 10 minutes of every second half of late. Half the team comes back out looking like they’ve been skinning up during the break? We have to somehow reverse this malaise, and we need to do it quick! This injury thing is beginning to bug me too. Back in the day, when Banks, Smith, Bloor & Marsh played, in them bone crunching days, at the Victoria Ground, when players got injured, they might have had a week off, and week on the bench at most. And then they were back at it. Bang at it! Wilmot broke a toe nail last week, and now he’s out for the season. Remember that time when Banksy had 3 months off with a sore arm? Me neither. Coz it just didn’t happen. Didn’t TP make the sick note players stay at the training ground until it had gone dark? Every day? Or is that just a myth? But we didn’t have as many none starters back then did we? So what’s changed? Watford are bunch of thugs. Schooled in the art by ex con Troy Deeney, probably one of the toughest Prem captains of recent times. They will turn up with the intention of exploiting a weakness, rather than playing football. It’s a tactic that seems to do well for them, especially when they see we’re reliant on some of our younger players now. It’s a steep learning curve for the likes of Tommy, and Syd, standing tall and not being bullied by older opposition. Somehow I’m feeling strangely optimistic for this one? Most unlike me? But we’ve got Sorba back, and Junior. You wouldn’t like to fight him would you? Neither would I! FFS, Come on Stoke!

Stoke City v Ipswich Town I didn’t see Saturday’s debacle v the Swans, I was stuck on the M6 car park, but it still didn’t sound very good on the wireless? We should have been 3 nil up apparently, worked really hard, blah blah, unlucky blah blah blah, injuries blah blah…… could ah, would ah, should ah……. Except we didn’t. The reality is, that were were absolutely shite, lost 2-0, and Sorba got sent off. Shit reffing, once again, played it’s part, as it has in the majority of our games this season. Something really has to be done about the exceptionally poor reffing in the Championship. Ipswich, 4th in the table, safe in the playoffs, have easily beaten every team that have given Stoke a right stuffing this season, both home and away, so it’s not looking good is it? The Tractor Boys face a Stoke side of persistent sick note weaklings, with half of our squad unavailable. Almost every team around us is doing far better, with far less than we have. Something has to change? If Robin’s is out of tactics, then what about rotavating the pitch from end to end, just before kick off, and leaving the sprinklers on all night, just for good measure…….? It worked for The Vale, and there’s nowt wrong with copying success! There are 10 games left to play, 6 games at home, if we continue the present run of form we’ll be in a relegation battle by the end of the season. FFS, Come on Stoke!

Leeeeeds! Still got it Leeds has! Back once again, for old times sake, maybe one last time with the Bunnymen…… “All at sea again but now my hurricanes Will bring down this ocean rain To bathe me again My ship's a-sail, can you hear its tender frame? Screaming from beneath the waves……” Bring it on! ❤️

A few forthcoming gigs on the horizon, hope to see you at one or two 🤩🤩 🙌🙌 😍😍🙏🙏

Stoke City v Southampton Early KO at the 365 again today, I’m here, stuffed full of oatcakes and Bloody Mary, which are part of your “5 a day”, so don’t count towards your Dry January vaginal dryness. It’s certainly working for me, no symptoms what so ever. I always make them in twos, to remain fully lubricated……. Hit me up for the recipe…….. The Saints are four places below us, in the mid table mediocrity, where decided averageness reigns supreme. The Doldrums of competitive football, where even an over enthusiastic fart can cause a switch of ends. There’s absolutely nowt in it, other than the lingering stench of underachievement. The decidedly average, binary football, of 0-0, 1-0, 0-1, 1-1, you get the drift…….. Each lacklustre performance brings the war within a measurable distance of its end, to only go and do it all over again, next week……next season…… next year……… ad nauseam……. This time next year Rodney……. We’ll be in the play offs! Stoke’s squad of enthusiastic cripples has been bolstered by the arrival of a Peter Crouch-esque, beenpole striker, by the name of Milan Smit, from a Dutch team with a comedy name. He scores goals for fun apparently? A target man, and if he’s even half as good as our Crouchy, then good times are coming our way! Southampton are on a shitty run of poor form, not winning in 9 games, compared to our 4, a slightly less shitty run. The odds are in our favour! Our injury ravaged team, put up a spirited performance against an in-form home side, at St Andrews last week (that’s them cheating Blues bastards) We’ll need as much grit and determination to overcome The Saints today! FFS, Come on Stoke!

Photo diary of Saturday night BITD Golden Classics from someone who is good at taking photos, but not so good at holding her drink! @bobs_disco @graemepark @backinthedaystoke and @daveseamandj blew the roof off! The best night with the best company. Love the dancefloor family we have here in Stoke. We really do have something special! ❤️🪩❤️ 2026 here we come! The last photo saved my life 😂

Stoke City v QPR I have fond memories of the Super Hoops, the team supported by some* of the “Flying” and “Boys Own” posse, in the early 90’s. This crew ran legendary coach trips to the dance clubs in the north, particularly Venus in Notts, and then Basics in Leeds, occasionally including the footie. God knows how they found the time, as they had a raft of stuff going on all over London most weeks as it was! Based around the record shop in Kensington market, Charlie ran the shop, and the trips, Ashley, Rocky, Diesel, Darren, and a lad name Andrew were regulars. “Just what is it that you want to do? We want to get loaded! And have a good time!” ……… yes, that Andrew. They were a lively bunch to say the least, and many are pretty famous now, Underworld, X-Press 2, Primal Scream and the like, and several others were along for the ride, Terry, Dean, Fabi, all great DJs, although some are in poor health now, and sadly, Andrew is no longer with us. Currie was the firms hard nut, and may, or may not, be back in the community, after one of his “extended” holidays…….😬 Music may well be a matter of life, and death, but football is a lot more serious than any of that. Stoke have been showing their mettle in recent games, even with a seriously depleted squad, due to extensive, and long term injuries. But this won’t be enough to maintain our top 6 ambitions. We need some players, and we need them now. Tommy came out of nowhere to fill a massive hole left by Victor, and there’s talk of others heading our way too? None of them seem to be named Haaland or Salah though? More like Johnny Nomark and Billy Sicknote……. We really don’t need other team’s cast offs at this crucial time…….🥴 Rangers have been a bit shit just lately, only winning one of their last five games, and that was against Sheffield Wednesday, which doesn’t really count, because they’re a Sunday League side now. What could possibly go wrong? Against a depleted Stoke side? On a cold, wet Saturday in Dry January? FFS, Come on Stoke! (* - some were Chelsea fans too, but we don’t talk about them……..🥴)