#BLACKEXISTENCE
@simplycyn
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"Fact: I didn’t want kids. I’ve always been so conflicted about my feelings about kids. I got tired of explaining to folks why my husband and I didn’t have kids after 10 years of marriage. Many assumed I was struggling and I thought that was a far better assumption than the truth which was that I just didn’t have a yearning. It felt so callous to even say such a thing when so many women close to me were spending all they had and going through so much heartbreak to make having a child a reality. I haven’t gone through that and have absolutely no business even speculating how hard that could be. ⠀
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Point is- I am so happy that I waited to be fully ready. And yes, as I moved into my late 30s, I was warned - you will miss your window, you will regret it. I guess now that I have kids, I’ll never know for sure if not having them would have been a life regret. But I still believe that my life would have continued to be very full and amazing without them. Mainly because I don’t believe a person can be the source of joy and that includes your children, your spouse, your parents. I think they can bring amazing value to your life and can bring you joy and happiness but not the source. If that makes any sense.
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So, while I am experiencing the joy of motherhood - I won’t be the one to tell another woman to do it, cos I remember so well, what is was like to be told to want something when I didn’t. We all have our time and our journeys. Some are filled with children early, or children later, children through struggles, children through surrogacy, adoption, nieces/nephews or maybe even absolutely no children (I see you too). I just hope that whichever journey you’re on, you’re making the most of it- and finding happiness within, so you can give some of that to others.
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#happymama #twinmom #twinsofinstagram #fraternaltwins"
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