today is my dad’s birthday, it’s only been a month and a half since he’s passed yet it feels like it’s been years.
i had the incredible privilege of giving the eulogy at my dad’s service earlier this month and in honor of his birthday, i’d love to share a part of it.
there are many things i’ll miss about my dad — his silly sweet tooth and how he always kept a secret drawer at home with all of his treats, having to ask at least once a year “you still got that car?” and at least once a year him telling me how he went to the dealership “for fun” and ended up with a new car, being picked up at the airport in said car and my dad always going the speed limit no matter how fast his car could go because “it only takes one time”, the way he’d say “bad ass” every time he saw something cool (though we’re in no short supply with my uncle curtis still around). i will miss all of these little moments that may seem small and insignificant, but they always meant the world to me and i’ll never forget them. that was just so my dad —effortless and simple. he wasn’t into grand gestures or showing off, he just simply was good and did good and never expected anything from it. all he wanted was to live a quiet and happy life, and i don’t think he realized how much the little effortless things he did impacted so many lives around him.
i’d always ask my dad ‘what do you wanna do for your birthday’ ‘what do you wanna do for fathers day’ and, again, being a simple man he’d just tell me he wants to relax. i’d like to think he’s somewhere now, relaxing and at peace laughing like always with that white toothed smile on his face; somewhere where the sun always shines and the water is always warm.
before i finish, i want to share one of many encouraging and loving texts my dad sent me amidst a crisis. he said, ‘Hang in there babe, it’s just Life. Whats done is the past. Things change as we move forward. It gets better. I Love you , you always have a place here’ and even though he’s gone now, i know he’s right.
COLOGNEEEEEE i know im nearly 2 months late BUT I MISS U SO MUCH! this was one of my favorite billie parties we’ve ever thrown :’) you were insanely loud and welcoming and i couldn’t have asked for a better introduction to germany! these parties always make me feel safe, happy, and just SO eternally grateful to be apart of something so much bigger. i always say it but i really cannot thank billie enough for bringing so much joy into my life in so many different ways ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
as always, thank you @billieeilishtours for having me and @billieeilishnights and @cbe_cologne for inviting us out to your incredible city :’) special thank you to my insanely talented opener and friend @lilaaher_ for conquering her first set ever ♡ and a huge shoutout to @ecko_unltd for making sure i looked fly for tha night!
europe, i’ll be back so soon … i promise ♡
📸: @cahrlota2 aka my fav photographer in the entire world
🎥: @heisuntmara & @kyle_kay600 aka world’s best content filmers
My first week of life captured by my mom.
As many of you know, I lost my mom 5 years ago. My mom was my very best friend, my soulmate, my second brain … everything.
After my grandmother passed, my cousin, Ashley, came across this photo album my mom had made for my Grandparents documenting my first week of life. Being able to see what my mom saw when I came into this world is so special and something I never even knew existed. She always took such care of documenting mine and my brothers lives growing up and to see photo albums like this pop up years later is a constant reminder that she’s still here with me. Every moment is precious and fleeting. It’s easy to say “life is short, live in the moment” but if you can’t do that, capturing the moments that are so important to you might let you relive them at another time. Take a lot of photos and videos, you’ll thank me later.
Happy Mother’s Day to my loving mom. I miss you every single second of every single day and I have no clue how I’m even surviving without you.
I know today isn’t just hard for myself but for many others. For those who have experienced loss of a mother or mother figure in some way or another, my hearts with you. For those who are fortunate enough to have a mom in their life, tell them you love ‘em for me.
felt very chic yesterday evening for the hit me hard and soft: the tour (live in 3d) los angeles premiere :’) so incredibly lucky to experience such a special occasion with some of my very best friends <3 thank u @hitmehardandsoftmovie !! live, laugh, love billie eilish fr (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
