I am pleased to announce the only child I’ll ever have:
AUSTIN GEBBIA ENTERTAINMENT (@austingebbiaentertainment ) is a multifaceted luxury company specializing in late-night experiences and nightlife engineering for clientele across creative industries.
You may learn about our services and enjoy the interactive website at , designed to feel like you’re in the back of a Maybach on your way to the after party.
Serious inquiries & proper budgets only. 🖤
three years ago today, while on my way to a tinder date at 12:30am, i got pulled over for my tinted windows and ended up getting arrested for having 15 of my mom’s xanax in a plastic baggie. this baggie also contained extra strength gas x, advil, bandaids, and the tropical flavored tums (blue and green if you’re wondering) to remedy acid reflux. the cops were intent on believing i was dealing drugs — which i have never done except once in 2010 and partially by accident. i tried explaining that i’m simply a neurotic jew who is 99% sober with a stomach and brain that want to kill me. as i stood handcuffed against my soon-to-be impounded vehicle, the nicer of the two cops hit me with: “my brother also has anxiety.” ok, cool! thank you, sir. ☺️ while they rummaged through my belongings and questioned whether my fart tablets were ecstasy pills, i asked if i could text my date to tell them i had other plans for the evening. “no.” shocking. they put me in the back of the car and we drove to the station where they’d fingerprint me (my pinky broke the machine, further delaying my tinder date) and took multiple mugshots (we landed on the one above as i enjoyed this angle best - when i asked to retake, i was also told “no”). many yoga poses and hours later in a jail cell, the door opens and i’m free. they offer my tums and gas x back; i tell them i’m good, but have a wonderful evening. three years, one special relationship with a senile lawyer who once didn’t show up to a court date because his “tooth hurt,” thousands of dollars wasted that could’ve been spent on jordans, and i still have never met the man i went to jail for. a few days later, i got the flu—presumably from resting my head on a green cot that had found its way to a light brown—and found out my tinder date’s second cousin is the cop who arrested me. and after all this, i’m just mad my date’s much uglier, meaner cousin put me in handcuffs before he had the chance to. #thestateofnewjerseyvsaustingebbia also sums up my public school career.
Austin Gebbia invites you to a black tie affair for New York’s finest nightlife degenerates to celebrate his 30th birthday.
House music all night long provided by…🤫
Black tie, formal wear, or upscale evening wear required for entry by all. Do not be afraid to show out.
[email protected] for inquiries.
Photography and videography will not permitted.
ESSX N’ FRIENDS: @austingebbia
Meet Austin, the visionary behind LES and NYC Nightlife! As a trailblazer in events and nightlife, Austin knows the ins and outs of the city’s vibrant scene.
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