⚠️ POV I just narcanned you 😁
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#depression #analoghorror #researchchemicals #rave #edm
‼️this content is not appropriate for children under the age of 17.
Staring at the clouds today
Waiting for my cuts to fade
The sky looks like a painting
Which reminds me that it’s fake
I wonder if I dissociate
like Alice Glass who suffocates
Replace myself with thoughts and pills
And plots to runaway
Hide your face up in a brain cell
Let you rot and waste
Maybe I’ll feel better and
Finally escape my cage
Cause the weather never changes
It makes me feel insane
I wish there was a different place
Where I can change my name
You said you’d come to see me but
then you never came
You like the way i’d always wait
So what remains is used to hate
What’s left of me is up for trade
Now I can accept my fate
Gotta block your number cause
You’re just a ghost that is too late
📹: @matthewxwindsor
Typically I am a very guarded person but lately I’ve been challenging myself so today I want to take a risk and be vulnerable about something personal to me. I’ve intensely struggled with my mental health my entire life and recently I was diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis & PTSD. Subconsciously, I always knew these things about myself and saw the signs. However, it took me YEARS to admit it to myself or talk about it with others, which prolonged my healing process because of the stigma that surrounds these sort of things and the embarrassment I felt over it. I have always wanted to be “normal”, which doesn’t even exist, so I’ve begun a process of self-acceptance instead. My psychosis is something that started when I was teenager because I was addicted to intravenously speedballing m3th and her0in. Even after I got sober from my drugs of choice, it continued when in my early twenties I decided it would be a good idea to take L$D and a bunch of other drugs everyday for over a year. My drug addictions were a symptom of traumatic experiences that I have endured but facing it now is how I’ve started healing at a quicker rate. My goal in sharing this is to encourage others to seek professional help for things they want to heal from, and also know that you are BEAUTIFUL- the way you are! There is nothing wrong with anyone, just different kinds of people. So many AMAZING people struggle with these types of things. I have felt free ever since accepting the truth about myself and I have began to feel proud of who I am with whatever brain chemistry I have, for the first time. I’m VERY grateful for the people who’ve stuck by my side and loved me for who I am thru all versions of me. I love you guys more than words can describe. So I hope there is someone reading this that will also take initiative and help themselves too. 💖
📸: @matthewxwindsor
If you would have told me when I was 2 tabs deep at my first concert (Flatbush Zombies @ the complex) that I just opened a sold out show in the big room at the @complexslc I would have called you a liar. I am humbled and grateful for the this full circle moment. I’m even more thankful for the people who put me up for it. Thank you to @v2presents@levelupdub@zingaramusic@stellersounds and @complexslc for letting me on stage. Thank you to the 2,800 beautiful patrons that showed up and cheered me on!!!!
A long time ago I had a dream, and it led me to finding you. When my biological mom passed away two years ago, I remember saying “nothing will ever make up for this.” I’d spent majority of my life without her, waiting for her and when she came into my life, she immediately got cancer. While she was sick we would dream of the days we could go to @getfreakyslc together where I would DJ for her and we’d dance our worries away. Even though she didn’t get to be there for my set, I didn’t miss her because I was supported by all the people who love me in her place. Real love, not the fake kind. When I remember to look up and enjoy the moment, I can see her in you. For a long time, music was the only thing that mattered to me but now, I show up for my friends. Thank you for being my lifeline over the last year, I couldn’t have done it without you. You have made up for my pain and have brought me more joy than I thought possible. I learned this year “all that glitters is not gold” but my friendship with you caught me by surprise and it made my dream better than I could have imagined. Thank you 🖤
Come see me DJ at the HalloDEEN Costume Party 🎃 with my friends at @groove_tuesday_slc 👻 Wear a costume and receive a ticket 🎟️ Place your tickets in the witches brew 🧙🏼 Winners chosen at midnight.
