Life has a way of throwing us surprises. Three weeks ago I was preparing dinner for my family after bath time and a day of starting to finally prepare for this little one’s new space in our home and I accidentally slipped on our concrete floors in some water that I didn’t see. Felt like I was skating on ice- all I could do what try to not land on my stomach to protect the baby. So, my left knee took the fall and I heard a loud pop and pain that was excruciating pounded through me. Having an ambulance having to transport me to hospital and an emergency surgery the next day. I broke my patella. At that time I was only 5 weeks away from my due date. Screws in my knee to fuse the bones back together. This far along in pregnancy it’s not safe to be under general anesthesia so I was awake for the operation which was wild and had its own set of trauma to experience. It was painful and crazy hearing and watching the process. But in a way I was glad it went that way and I didn’t go into an unconscious state while being pregnant. Since then I’ve been on pretty strict bed rest with this huge leg brace that doesn’t allow any bend in my knee . Hobbling back and forth to the bathroom with my crutches. All of this with a huge growing belly that already is limiting my mobility. Sitting still isn’t easy for me- especially when all I wanna do is nest and do all the things still left to do and enjoy before birth. It’s been a very challenging time emotionally, mentally and physically but I have tried to stay as positive as I can and taking this time to go inward and really receive the gifts of this experience. I believe that all things we go thru in life are opportunities to grow, evolve, surrender and be put back on course. There are gifts in the struggles-you just need to be willing to seek them out and receive. I’m still trying to do that. Surrender into the slow down, into asking for support, to really get clear about what that looks like to me and receive it. I like to do things myself and really find it difficult to ask for help. But with this, I have no choice. I can’t even lift my leg on my own.
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Thank you for making me a mama. My first born. For being my greatest adventure, my greatest love, my greatest memories, my greatest reason for waking each day and living, my greatest teacher and friend. You are the best part of all of my days. My greatest hallelujah. Everything hallelujah. I love you 💛
Baby brother joining us so soon and walking me down the road of motherhood again 💫
Carrying life is a wild and beautiful sacred experience. Each day you stretch a little further. Not just in body but in every aspect of yourself. I am honored for the opportunity to walk this path again. Can’t wait to meet you my sonshine.
What I’ve been up to for the last 8 months.
Growing my second sun.
So grateful for this gift of life.
To hold, nurture, love and experience this existence with.
For the opportunity to grow my heart bigger.
🪶
Can I hold myself? In the confusion, in the grief, in the pain, the heartbreak, the joy, the peace. Can I just allow a deep breath of surrender . To trust and just let go. When I’m held by the mother and father- I find that space easier. The connection and beauty of it all seems so obvious and easy when I’m in a state of surrender, a place of radical acceptance and trust.
