Motherhood can feel rife with stress, fears, doubts and always a return to deep inner knowing. With so much advice, pressure and influence from well-meaning (or not) people in your life, now is the perfect time to reframe any fears you have about your baby’s milestones and growth.
💥YOU are your baby’s shield 🛡️
There’s something about thinking of myself as the shield for my baby that makes the worries and rumination get quiet. I’m noticing so he doesn’t have to! The truth is you will never let something important slip by. Your unparalleled vigilance is wired in your mama brain. It’s the unseen weight of motherhood. So, how we carry that weight matters. Can you share it? Can you reframe it? Can you jot it down and free up some internal space?
💥It might not be YOURS to carry.
Were similar fears and worries modeled for you in your early life? What patterns do you see in your parents, siblings and grandparents that feel similar? Was something neglected or obsessed over? Was it based in fear, shame or negativity?
💥You’re being called back to your own inner wisdom.
The feminine wisdom within you is always *noticing*. It’s your gift & an asset for you and your family. Noticing does not need to feel pathological. Instead of questioning, TRUST. You are the best parent for your baby. And you’re capable of finding the right support at the right time. Everything in your life AND your birth has prepared you for this season. Lean into that faith and find people who can truly support you the way you need it 🤍
If you found this supportive, share to stories and with that special mama who is perfecting her “shield” energy for bub 🫶🏼
Neuroplasticity is never more active than in the first 3 years of life unless you become a parent 💥 Your new mama brain is as malleable as your baby’s. How your brain rewires depends on…how you feel about your birth, how you eat, how you are supported or not, how you take care of yourself, how you respond to stress, how you heal your triggers and so much more.
Here are 4 powerful truths I’ve leaned into that drastically altered the way I mother (and changed my brain):
1) I listen to my parents when they share stories about their grandchildren and what it was like raising me and my siblings. Your parents are a treasure trove. Their stories inform so much of who you are and why you are. Listen with love, compassion and through the lens of understanding. Your lineage is a bloodline with deep-seated wisdom and inevitable trauma ripe with opportunities to grow and become more your Self.
2) Showing up as the parent you “want” to be doesn’t always serve your children and showing up unconsciously as the parent you had may not either. Listen. Watch. Learn. Evolve. And raise a human who knows themself so deeply they cannot be persuaded to be anyone else.
3) Our children need child-size hardships that prepare them for bigger hardships later in life. I realized pretty quickly that my urge to straighten the stack of blocks before it toppled over took away his ability to move through the devastation of them falling. The world does not need more adults who can’t handle crisis. We need parents who show up compassionately for their babies when life feels hard. Showing up is not fixing or avoiding. It’s tenderly offering an ear or a shoulder or a helping hand without taking over entirely.
4) The best way to “discipline” is to help them understand the world without being offended by their mistakes. Don’t get mad when they fling their food or drag their jacket through the muddy puddle. “Food is for eating” is far more effective long term than “You’re making a mess.” Your kid isn’t performing for you and doesn’t need to prove their goodness. They are your disciple, teach them. Show them. Love them.
Birth is a wild, primal, transcendent space. It’s meant to be transformative. It’s meant to be life-altering. You birth your baby AND you birth your self. It will bring out your greatest fears, disempowered conditioned beliefs. And then it will alchemize these to morph you into the mother you’ve always been inside. The mother you are becoming.
🔥Here are five powerful truths you have or will discover after birth in your (very personal and unique) postpartum window:
1) you questioned yourself, doubted you were in labor or worried about how labor was progressing and at some point along the way you stopped questioning and unleashed your immense, confident, primal power🐍
2) you thought you might actually break or rip or tear until you gathered yourself, faced the flames, walked into the fire and walked out as mother of dragons🐲🐉
3) you had no experience in what you were doing after birth, but found the confidence to lean into your intuition - and literally thousands of years of mothers wisdom came pouring out of your heart and hands♾️
4) some aspect of your birth showed up in your new role as mama and the lesson came full circle. Maybe it was a mother wound, an ancestral loop, a chronic pattern of oppressing women/mothers, finding and honoring your voice/truth, establishing boundaries🐚
5) your identity or philosophy as mother has been questioned and you’ve been gifted opportunities to model sovereignty, authenticity and integrity for your baby👑
The 4 week BIRTH PORTAL CLOSING CIRCLE starts this weekend. Are you coming?
I see her here…draped over the edge. Body and mind at the edge of what she thought was possible. Finding her breath after the last wave dragged her out to sea.
But she isn’t drowning in the waves. She’s never been more alive. She is present. Never anticipating the next wave. Knowing it will come in it’s good time. And what she wants to tell you - what she will eventually be brave enough to say is that THIS is the epitome of power. THIS is God in her most essential and imperative form.
I see her here dripping with sweat, tears fill her eyes as her womb urges new life outward. She reaches down to meet the exact moment his crown dawns on the world. Her son taking his place beside her thrown in the family she has intentionally created with her chosen king.
And I think of every other mother who has met herself here. Absent of drugs, technology, persuasion, distrust, relief from the weight of what she has created. Instead of unburdened…she turns inward, to validate and exalt her own inner strength and divine design. And she’s not alone. He is with her, she is with her, they are with her. Undisturbed, she continues.
I think of Mary. Her mother. All the Mary’s before and all the Mary’s after whose stories we never hear. Who brought miracles into the world in a way that felt aligned for them. No hierarchy. Just god embodied in man and woman for the briefest of moments as we traverse Mother Earth 💫 #happymothersday
Cheers to the women who started it all (that’s all of us!)
Pic 3/4/5 are 20 min before his brother arrived!
Do you teach your children about the pause? It’s called many things…the window, the pause, the breath, the choice.
It’s that stretch of time between what happened (stimulus) and what happens next (response). I’ve used this analogy with our 5 yo the past week and I’ve seen significant shits in his reaction times.
Often that little moment between the inciting event and what you do or say about it is so tiny there’s very little chance that you’re making a conscious choice.
DEFAULT MODE for kids (and many adults bc hiii you’re their greatest teacher) is typically a mix of anger, fear, perceived loss, disgust. And once Archer conceptualized this for himself, everything changed. On the flip side, conscious choice is our power and the evolution of becoming our most sovereign selves.
I repeat the same simple statement.
“Pause! There was a moment…after he knocked it down and before you lunged toward him. How can you make that moment longer?”
That’s it. No mom-splaining. No lecture or selling past the close. I let his brain chew on that. And he loves a challenge, a problem solving moment. He likes to reflect and think. And so I let him. And then each time a terrible, annoying, infuriating thing happens…same response. But his window of time increases.
Our children are SO wise and so capable. And yet we feel this urgent need to impart all of our wisdom onto them at every turn. This experience was proof that letting his brain catch up to mine was far more effective than dumping truth on him and hoping the saturation level didn’t drown him.
Drop your mama wisdom below if you have a similar experience to offer ❤️💫
My 2nd (and last) Milk Ceremony 🥛
Nothing prepares you for this moment. Nothing prepares bub, either. And, yet, as his family, we are here. Walking him across this threshold.
Our second born had his first Rite of Passage Ceremony over the weekend. He was witnessed by his daddy, older bubba and me. We read him hand written letters, offered mama milky to the earth and had moon tea.
He has been preparing for this initiation for weeks. We all have.
I will share in a separate post what I’ve done to support my hormones/mental health and my physiology as I decrease milk supply. This process necessarily involves a slow titration down to minimize depression/mood swings and potential mastitis. I formulated an herbal tincture and herbal infused breast oil to help ease the transition.
I could not be prouder of my littlest love. Rites of Passage are scarce in western culture. Seeing him recognize the significance of this was very emotional. He was truly beaming with pride and processing all of the love and attention he was showered with.
You’re surrounded by loved ones…your little ones, all grown up themselves. They take your hands in theirs. Once tiny, plump and dimpled, they now wrap fully around yours.
You close your eyes and fall into reverie to those early days in motherhood. You remember the first flutter in your belly, the ache at night as your belly grew alongside those 10 moons.
And you feel eternally grateful that you chose to honor your pregnancy and this new life inside of you with a Blessing Ceremony. Surrounded then, by a different village than the one you have today. But equally loved.
These memories, this Rite of Passage, the day of your ceremony…it lives in your bones. You forget what gadgets you received, the onesies and the tiny hats. But you feel the joy, the love and being witnessed as you grew life inside of you.
As the years pass, only a few things remain unchanged. The marking and honoring of these life-changing moments are worth more than you could ever have imagined.
Happy Birthday, mama…Altared Mama is here making memories that will become part of your legacy and carry you into the next place 🙏🏼💫
At night, I often lay my head against his chest and listen. The gentle thrumming of life that began many moons ago inside of me now walks bravely in the world beside me.
A tiny, mundane miracle.
The very first beat, like a lightning storm in the darkness of my womb, will continue on long after mine stops.
It’s unbearable and perfect.
And nothing prepares you for it, mama.
Hi, I’m Kirstin 🙏🏼 I bring reverence to motherhood through blessings, ceremonies and transformational coaching. You can find a photographic “amouse bouche” of what I do here on IG.
Connect when you’re ready for a deeper, more intentional journey through the wild, raw, profound ride of matrescence.
Photo by my dearest @simplyashixoxo
a n h e i r l o o m l i f e
On my birthday a few weeks ago, I made a wish for a more intentional life that included joyful moments that may not look worth while to anyone other than me. The legacy I’m creating for my children is an heirloom life, not stuff accumulated or external validation, but memories of reaching for pleasure and rest and letting people have their own feelings about that while knowing it’s none of my business.
Painting for the joy of it, living each day with a prayer of gratitude, letting this also be productivity and claiming this space in mind, body and heart because too often we are told to busy our days with compulsory chores and obligations. But the truth is, those lists literally never cease or get shorter. Cross something off and add 3 more.
So, this is your reminder to paint for the joy of it when you could squeeze one more thing in from your to-do list.
Bigger flex for doing something you’re considered “bad at” and enjoying it even more so. Can’t sing? Sing the loudest. Can’t paint, buy the largest canvas. What’s your heirloom legacy?
You were made for this, mama. Your hopes, your fears, your past, your future, all collide in sacred union the moment you and your partner choose to invite a soul into your family legacy.
When a woman steps into the mother archetype, she invites an initiation that will unfold within and around her for a lifetime if she allows it.
That whisper will become a roar. The voice telling you to find a village of like-minded women. To prioritize yourself. To protect your baby at all costs.
Step into the river, mama. Join us.
Host that Mother’s Blessing, invite friends over to fold baby laundry and prep postpartum meals, designate the emotional/spiritual support for after baby arrives.
This incredible day featured here was a beautiful reminder of how profound our reach can be. Meghann loves many and that loves returns to her 10 fold. She has knit a village of many into something inspiring and achievable. And her sweet twins are finally earthside! So loved.
Someone to hold you the way you hold your baby.
My dear friend and soon-to-be postpartum doula goddess, @annecfidler , blessed me with this healing moment at her home. The crackling fire was primal and deeply comforting, her Abhyanga touch was medicine for my nervous system and the sweet scent of Sesame oil lingers on my skin.
I’m so excited for mamas to be held by you, sis. We are all so lucky to know you and receive you.
Truly, only a mama knows that ache to be held, touched, embraced the way we hold our babies and every mama deserves this kind of postpartum care.
Bodywork is a non-negotiable for postpartum. In its absence, mama, you can’t return home to your body. Whether it’s a hired friend, partner or you do it yourself, gentle, healing touch head to toe is a vital part of recovery.
Ask a Ceremonialist: why you need a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony instead of a baby shower 🌸💐 Kirstin Ford (of @altaredmama ) is back sharing a bit more about her favorite way to honor new mamas. Don’t forget to check out the post she wrote for the Oat Mama blog ✨
#newmom #postpartum #newborn #postpartumjourney #mothersblessing
