Woke up today and went oh Gm Eb Bb F is a cool chord progression and ended up writing a song. Calling it 'Ocean Tides' and leaning into my sad girl aesthetic 🤷🏻♀️
Recorded and edited on my phone otherwise I will not release it cause overthinking brain. Tried some harmonies, sometimes you just gotta write some dramatic songs for emotions and stuff
Lyrics:
Sometimes the world moves fast
I always question so
Am I the fool that is
Too dumb to really know
Have I just missed the note
Are things just meant to me
Cause all my heavy thoughts
Burden and weigh on me
Chorus
There's a resounding
Hollowness round here
I feel the cold come
Whenever you draw near
I'm drowning inside
Fear covers like ocean tides
I'm scared to try
Can't move cause I'm paralyzed
I guess I should have known
When we played pretend
That the world's on fire
And that this story ends
My stomach's twisting now
Battle my inner thoughts
As my anxiety
becomes entangled knots
Numb from the icy cold
Just gotta last the night
I'll try to stay awake
No one to hold me tight
No use in sleeping sound
And so I wonder why
I don't feel any warmth
Or safe I'm petrified
Experimentation of Story | An experimental soundscape of the inside of my brain. Often overthinking interactions. Often exhausted as a result.
Last week I made a creative artefact for my research class that represents who I am. I created an audio recording about having imposter syndrome. This is a re-edited version with additional aural textures. I recorded myself talking into a mic whilst walking in public. I made this last minute so I had to commit despite the nerves.
I spoke about my creative process. I spoke about church audio stuff and songwriting and the comfort of form, structure, and predictability but also the liberating way filmmaking, and now specifically sound, can help my nonlinear multimodal neurospicy brain that often overcomplicates things hyperfocus. I think it's called creative flow. We had a break and I almost ran away. A classmate in another group said to me, 'Your eyes light up when you talk about sound. You'll do well. Just remember to breathe.'
My research teacher is also my sound lecturer so he has some good ears. He said to us, 'hope you enjoyed it and it wasn’t as scary as you thought it might be.' It was bloody terrifying but I still did it.
Last night I went to the Pyrmont Festival Media Launch. Here is me trying to do one of those influencer reels but I'm just awkward so I just filmed myself getting some laksa. 😅
FYI the Pyrmont Food and Wine Festival is a free event happening throughout May. Mainly happening May 23 and 24 at Pirrama Park. Feel free to check it out if you want. Idk. You do you fam.✌🏼
I had a martini and made friends with the star city's head chef. He asked if I had more of his food. I said I didn't cause my hands were full but I liked how he included white rice in the thing I ate. He said 'well I've got two hands.' I went 'that's great!' finished my food and gave him a high five.
Thanks @jessmurray5463 for filming me at the end being silly. 😆
Today at uni we had to speak about our creative identity. I spoke about my love of sound/music/songwriting but how I was really shy as a kid so mixing at church was the closest I ever got and how I sing when no one’s around in my room.
I’ve realised my creative identity is making really weird stuff. This makes me nervous but I’m learning to embrace this. Today felt vulnerable. I spoke about creativity and church and making dumb stuff. Also how art should be shared and it's a collective experience. So here is my art.
Last year I wrote a song about the Exeloo in Parra Park cause many years ago I had a coffee needed the bathroom. I was in growth group last year scrolling through the website on my phone and laughing to myself cause I worked out the bridge. Also sitting in silence and feeling awkward.
Spoke to my friends about this toilet and some ethnic uncles in parra thought I needed the bathroom and directed me to the library. I can’t explain things but I made this and hope you enjoy it.
One take record, straight outta the zoom recorder cause sometimes perfection is debilitating.
I'm learning ProTools for sound design. It's not too scary to understand thankfully. Here's something I made experimenting with sounds today. Slightly melodic in my approach.
I took a sound called 'Electric Fridge Hum' duplicated it and pitch shifted 4-5 semitones up and down to create a chord. Added a drone hum and also some fax machine sounds for aural texture. Plus water bubbling sounds obviously.
I call it, 'Pee anxiety'
This is the silly stuff I make to help me understand things 🤷🏻♀️
Women can tell stories. 'get us on the tools' 🤙🏼
Nervous tonight but I got a beer, some wedges, and had cute chats with my discipline lead and lecturer prior. Me, 'I look at someone, we make eye contact, I smile at them, they smile back. I'm freaking out man. Communication is scary.'
Imposter syndrome is hitting but everyone is supportive, lovely, and I don't feel completely lost. I've got this! 🙌🏻🫣
Film school O-week doodles where I:
1. Had imposter syndrome but met lots of nice people (wholesome vibes)
2. Learnt about the power of spite.
3. Asked dudes about urinals and tried to talk about dude things idk. 'oh yeah, I regret watching Sharknado 2.' and 'let's get on them beers'
4. Realised how small class sizes are, freaked out cause many yrs ago I told the sound lecturer 'I hate sound'. I don't, I'm just intimidated by mostly dudes with big egos. I was kinda embarrassed but he was nice.
I said to my discipline lead and lecturer that I feel really dumb but then started asking about sound recording and if we learn patching and they said, 'the fact you're asking means you're not dumb. You sound intelligent.'
Things are good. Making friends. Pushing through with my silliness. ❤️
