In 2021, four years ago today, my dad died. I was actually back in Nebraska that week, but didn’t go to see him that day because I was “too tired”. As you can imagine, that one sat with me. For years I subconsciously avoided facing reality that he was gone, that I didn’t tell him goodbye. I numbed myself with working myself to insanity, partying, taking care of LITERALLY everyone but myself. There were months where I genuinely felt like I was going to die if I didn’t snap out of the dissociation that had become my life. I was symbolically kicking and screaming at life.
But if you know me, you know I love and crave change. I value change. Thankfully about 4 months ago, I put myself in Wes Ball rehab (a spiritual journey that I created specifically for myself that has completely changed my life, but we can talk ab that another day x). I put myself in an ICU of rest, processing, and love. It was / is freaking awesome. I have a long ways to go, but I’ve finally begun processing losing my dad, and if you’re bored and want to read my little public journal, feel free, as I hope it helps someone else too.
I straight up miss that dude. He put up with me putting diesel in my car twice #Nebraskashit idk why I opened with that but
- Ever since I was young he said “333sss” as a way to say “love ya” - that’s why I have these 333s on my arm !! they aren’t mf angel numbers u guys does that even sound like me 🤣
- His departure has enlightened me on the fact that while music has always been bordering on obsession for me, it may actually be the very way I process life’s ups and downs, and understand / express the nuanced emotions that manifest themselves in this intricate world. If u know me, u know music brings me to tears (sad tears, happy tears, all tears) like every other day lmao. Of course he was my introduction to music, and it makes music that much more meaningful in my life.
[Cont. in comments :)]
Hooligans House Brew with DJ Wes ☕🎶
The after-after party you didn’t RSVP to… but showed up for anyway.
This Sunday. 10 am –12 pm. #coffeevibes #livedj
![In 2021, four years ago today, my dad died. I was actually back in Nebraska that week, but didn’t go to see him that day because I was “too tired”. As you can imagine, that one sat with me. For years I subconsciously avoided facing reality that he was gone, that I didn’t tell him goodbye. I numbed myself with working myself to insanity, partying, taking care of LITERALLY everyone but myself. There were months where I genuinely felt like I was going to die if I didn’t snap out of the dissociation that had become my life. I was symbolically kicking and screaming at life.But if you know me, you know I love and crave change. I value change. Thankfully about 4 months ago, I put myself in Wes Ball rehab (a spiritual journey that I created specifically for myself that has completely changed my life, but we can talk ab that another day x). I put myself in an ICU of rest, processing, and love. It was / is freaking awesome. I have a long ways to go, but I’ve finally begun processing losing my dad, and if you’re bored and want to read my little public journal, feel free, as I hope it helps someone else too.I straight up miss that dude. He put up with me putting diesel in my car twice #Nebraskashit idk why I opened with that but- Ever since I was young he said “333sss” as a way to say “love ya” - that’s why I have these 333s on my arm !! they aren’t mf angel numbers u guys does that even sound like me - His departure has enlightened me on the fact that while music has always been bordering on obsession for me, it may actually be the very way I process life’s ups and downs, and understand / express the nuanced emotions that manifest themselves in this intricate world. If u know me, u know music brings me to tears (sad tears, happy tears, all tears) like every other day lmao. Of course he was my introduction to music, and it makes music that much more meaningful in my life.[Cont. in comments :)]](https://sp1.picnob.com/p/pt_6752485313426024171252_0_fff9c2390101de1f454de3a394246415.jpg?o=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&h=4a75048e5ad72422f7b7c60b9821a436)
