Turned 3✌🏼 the other day. // Sometimes none of it makes sense. I get real existential at night and have no idea why we’re here. // I miss my mom, especially when things start to change. // Cooking with podcasts on makes me calm. The tomatoes from my garden do too. // I’m scared of most people until I meet them. // Work has been hard but I’ve found a lot of meaning in it lately. // I started running again, and it hurts. // I have a lot of regrets in life. I think I’ve been learning from them instead of being sad about them. But I’m still sad sometimes. Anyway… how’re you?
My parents had this Mediterranean cruise planned to Italy, Greece, Slovenia, and Croatia with Alistair Begg. Instead of canceling the whole trip I told my dad I’d travel along if he still wanted to go ——>
After some thought, he said she’d want him to. And of course she would. Dad is probably the last person I would ever picture being in Europe with, and he would agree. As mom was the world traveler and he’d prefer to stay home.
But we packed our bags and traveled around the world. It was the trip of a lifetime. We made pizza in Napoli, we swam in the Adriatic, we saw cathedrals, made friends with people from Mexico, Greece and New Zealand. God even placed people in our path who had also experienced recent loss.
We laughed and cried and were sad she wasn’t enjoying all these beautiful places with us. But trusting that God is still working in our ordinary lives. Somehow.
I will always try to live by the tattoo on my arm, that her, Kendi and I share. It’s a command to go (Matt 28:19-20). Go and love the world. That’s what she did.
Miss you mom.
Side note: Dad even liked his espresso, after adding a packet of sugar to it 😉
life update // we moved back to Indy
I was able to spend a majority of the summer in Oklahoma with my family and for that time I am so thankful. It still hurts knowing she isn’t there but it’s good to be with those who know her most. We decided now is a good time to pause our travels and rest in a place we still call home, surrounded by people we love.
Grief is such a heavy thing, but Jesus takes on the weight of our pain.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Jesus
My beautiful beautiful momma went to be with Jesus yesterday. I have never felt such a deep pain before, but I have never been so sure of God and his love. She loved so fiercely, gave so generously and forgave so quickly. If you knew her, you knew this too. I love her so much and that’s all I can put into words right now.
We may have been without running water for 2 weeks, with frozen pipes and unable to find a camping site at 9pm on a Sunday, but hey she sure is pretty. Good thing @joshuaharms knows how to fix anything.
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