life updates:
1. I feel hotter, therefore I am hotter
2. California winters are very special and my favorite
3. I play pool regularly (but I’m not any good)
4. Being good at things has been major driving force in my life for a long time, and it’s nice to do things poorly
5. In order to try new things I need to give myself the spaciousness to fail
6. Royal blue/cobalt is my/our color (peep the family photo on slide 19)
7. I have needs! They are varied and abundant and I’m finally understanding how to talk about them
8. I accurately predicted 17/24 Oscar categories, which is not my best work but I’m still proud
9. I took a break from working and learned that even without the structure of a job I’m actually a pretty good steward of my time
10. I’ve developed a late night hot cookie thing and idk if I wanna be cured
11. Go follow @suckafreecollective415 and @project.21.12 two burgeoning communities I’m thrilled to be a part of
12. Writing a tight five is hard work- what I have much more closely resembles a loose seven
13. I love feeling strong and pushing my body in new ways!
14. I learned I’m open to change but it’s not my preference (I actually like eating the same ten things over and over again)
15. I’m not afraid of rest! Of cringe! Of longing! Of desire! Of what exists at the edges of my own heart and mind!
16. I know that cultivating joy is the secret sauce in the formula of maintaining hope
17. I have dreams and plans and visions of myself aging. What a gift!
18. In spite of everything, I’ve never wanted to be here more than I do now
In Timberlake Wertenbaker’s “The Love of the Nightingale” she writes that “questions are like earthquakes.” They can shake the very foundation of what we know. There’s almost a bravery in asking- knowing that everything might change..Pour Into You 2026 asked: “what if you gave yourself what you give others? What if you believed in yourself in the way you believe in others?” I was overcome! 2026 has been about giving myself what I’ve given others so freely my entire life. Life is a lot better when I’m on my own side 💫
October but in the form of lessons
1. You don’t always have to be strong- lay your burdens down and then go lay down!
2. Have that crash out and then phone a friend
3. Trust yourself: mind, body and spirit.
4. Men will let you down in life and in death (see Diane Keaton/ Al Pacino)
5. Get a second opinion!
The Yuba was beautiful (first pic is all @frisco.euphoria ) and I want to return for one last hurrah before we fade into shorter days. August was hard, I’m not going to hold you with a whole thing about where and how it was hard. Instead, I’m choosing to share some joyous moments because I never have trouble remembering the hard stuff, but I struggle to do the same with the good. To iced coffee, sunny days, Ma Po Tofu, quick lil trips to NY (and the joys of in person trainings!!!), friend time, and my new obsession with riding those lil electronic scooters as a mode of transportation. Most notably of course was getting to see @alalalfe put on an incredible show @safehousearts highlighting the work of queer and trans artists!! And getting to see and hear the incredible @chrisunkim in conversation with @disability_visibility at the SF Moma!!! This followed Christine’s lecture/performance “Deaf Death” (Ty @gaybourdain for letting me tag along!)
Could go for a body of water right about now. Does anyone else become overcome by the desperate need to be submerged? July was all over the place and honestly I am so knee deep in what August let in that it feels hard to remember. A few final glimpses of Brazil, summer upstate with family, bracelet making, and being cold in the Bay.
Folks may have seen me post that my friend, fellow organizer, and DACA recipient Xochitl Santiago was illegally taken into CBP custody in El Paso on August 3rd she has been detained for the last month. Please share her story and visit the @freecatanow page. There are vigils happening all over the country. Please support and amplify her story as her next court date approaches 💜
And that’s a wrap on Brazil! Made a lot of good memories, was resilient in the face of challenge and stayed cute with it. São Paulo does not get its own post on account of me being sick there.
Belem is also known as the gateway to the Amazon!
Fun fact- Guyana 🇬🇾 (Brazil’s neighbor to the north and my home country) is 87% rainforest. However, most of the population lives in the few coastal cities (A terrifying prospect given rising sea levels, but I digress) The Interior is home to a few smaller towns and villages and mostly Indigenous. After oil was discovered in Guyana in 2015 - Exxon Mobil has invested billions in extraction. As of 2024, Guyana has the 17th largest oil reserves in the world. Which may not seem like much but with less than a million people in the whole country- it’s significant. I’ve been thinking about it a lot - before this oil discovery and the massive foreign investments - our rich biodiversity was what we had! I don’t want us to lose it.
Being in Brazil and meeting Laji (an Indigenous elder who shared a bit of his life with us) was a clear reminder that in spite of colonization and borders there’s a way of life centered in a reciprocal relationship to land that unites us all!
It made this day all the more special for me.
Ps. On my flight back to the US I flew into Houston and a flight was arriving from Georgetown. Full of ExxonMobil guys (trust me there are not enough Guyanese people in Texas to make this a worthwhile route otherwise) one even had a baseball cap with a Guyanese flag on it and it did upset me.
Indigenous sovereignty! Land stewardship! Down with Exxon Mobil! Protect the rainforests 🌱
