Iām fighting tears, writing these thoughts and feelings in my notes while sitting on a bus thatās about 2 hours behind on my way back to Connecticut from North Carolina, listening to āMe & Uā by Tems on repeat and editing my sisters graduation pictures and I think this is the happiest Iāve been in a long time.
A lot of people may know or may not know, but we lost our mother 1/27/2011, when I was 14 and she was 4. It took me a long long time to even begin to cope with that in any healthy way. Like, this year begin to understand and cope. But seeing her accomplish such an amazing milestone and having my dad, both grandmothers, my cousins in attendance meant the world. I was fully surrounded by love, an over abundance of it.
Even me in the moment capturing her walk across the stage and hearing her name called I was fighting tears. She did it. WE did it. I spent so many years of my life not allowing myself to feel and appreciate things in life, being so afraid to FEEL in fear of losing everything because I felt like I lost everything already. But thatās not fair, thatās not fair to me or fair to the people I love.
This is all over the place, but I want to cap it off with a letter to my sister. Symone, youāll never be alone. I know we donāt live close to each other and I was never the brother I shouldāve been and you may have felt like I abandoned you. But Iām back. Iām here. Iām here for a shoulder to cry on, an ear for listening and a bank to fund whatever you need to the best of my abilities šā¦I love you to the moon and back and then back to the moon. Weāre all we got. Youāre all I got. Itās US. Youāll never be lonely as long as there is air in my lungs. I love you forever my beautiful little sister. You mean the world to me, you always have and Iāll never NOT be there for you ever again. I love you forever and always. We got this. š
I wouldnāt trade my life for none of yāallās, itās an embargoā¦
Life lately with my people + a thank you to everyone who trusted me during this prom and graduation season. I swear to you all I donāt take any of these moments youāve allowed me to capture lightly, I am so extremely honored and appreciative of everyone who opened their hearts and families to me and let me really freeze these moments in time for you all and I canāt wait to see what everyone has in store and hopefully our paths will meet again and often, not as photographer and subject but as friends and family. š¤š¾š¤
28ā¦Iāve always been me, I guess I know myself.
28 was a year. A year of growth. A year of separation. A year of differences. A year of changes. But Iām here. I owe myself a lot more. But I wouldnāt have anything I have without the people that support me. Love, always.
Work is work.
Alex, when you look back at this, let this be a reminder.
You know of what. Donāt let it happen again.
See yall at 30!š
To simply say I love you doesnāt encapsulate AT ALL the feelings and appreciation I have for you. Youāre my saving grace in this life. Whenever weāre together I feel safe. Free. Unrestricted. Youāre my safe space Taylor. From the moment our frequencies connected, I knew you were my person. Your patience, kindness, unconditional love and warm soul is something that I oftentimes find myself wondering how I genuinely got so lucky. Iām not deserving of you in any way, but you still love me, pour into me and cherish me and I promise Iāll always do that same. Weāre a team. I wouldnāt want to be back to back or side by side with anyone else navigating this insane world that we live in. Thank you so much for choosing me day in and day out and Iāll choose YOU day in and day out.
āYou might not know, but youāre a lot of the birthday candles I blew out as a kidāā¦You are 100% a lot of candle I blew out as a kid. And I hope I was 1 of yours. I canāt wait to celebrate this and many more birthdays with you. Just flourishing, loving, nurturing and growing as a family and going about it the RIGHT way, leading with love. Happy birthday TayTay, thank you. I love you.
