The mind is all a lie. There is no ego, it's all a dream - the mind can't know the self, it's impossible. Everything is within, we are all one. You can only hurt the ego, but the ego is an illusion, we are not separate from God. Identity is an illusion, it believes we are separate from God. Try to discern your thoughts, try to watch them, witness them like clouds passing a sky - the sky is unchanging just like your awareness (God), and don't interact with them, don't REACT to them. See what happens.
With the ego dropped and gone, in it, you will discover that the pain you ever placed on anyone else isn't there, whilst the pain you have in your self is not there as well. Pain is an illusion and only belongs to the ego.
